Letters to the Editor

• Oh, For the Love of....Oops! Sorry!

  [Read the article: Country boy]
  [Read more letters about this article: Here]

  The only thing more grating than the piteous nasal whine of the put-upon faux liberal snot in this screed is some of the responses from people who felt the need to first point out they were "liberal," "atheist," etc., as though this somehow justified their points of view. And even then, one of them, who at least is not an American citizen but merely a French national opportunist sucking from the capitalist teat before it runs completely dry, said probably the most sane thing of any of the responders (prior to me, that is, of course): "Let him be a five year old and leave the international politics to the adults." Bless you, you Frog-eating, infidel tourist! You stand head and shoulders above the American idiots.

  Since everyone else seems to feel obliged to lay their credentials on the table, I suppose I should out myself as well. I am a lifelong Republican (hey, somebody's gotta do it. Who ya gonna hate when us redneck swine are all gone?), a Goldwater conservative, and, just for the record, if someone, God forbid of course, picked off our Fearless Leader tonight, I'd go to bed and probably sleep better than I have in several years. While you're digesting that conundrum I just want to say that if the values espoused in the American Pledge of Alegience (with the possible exception of that "Under God" part stuck in there by the McCarthyite inquisitors in 1954, after it was already working quite nicely all those years)offend you, then why the hell are YOU also sucking off the capitalist teat with Froggy down in Tex-ass? If that strikes you as somehow quaint, the notion of love of a nation that gave you birth and, by your own admission is relatively immune from "bombs raining down from the sky" and other routine atrocities, then perhaps if you can't make a living in France, you might find a cute loft in downtown Baghdad. I hear property values have dropped like a paralyzed falcon. You might find a real steal there. A lot of Amerikans have, you know. And you could, without equivocating all over yourself, teach your little boy to hate the country he lives in. Everybody else there does. Hey, be glad THAT doesn't abut our southwestern border!

  At the beginning of the piece my blood started to boil, then it cooled down a little, and then, well, my wife was starting to dial 9-1-1 when I popped a Xanax and an extra dose of the beta blocker that keeps the lid on things at times like this. I get that stuff from the nearby drug store in this godforsaken wasteland I was born in, may Allah forgive me. We don't get to choose our parents or the place of our birth. Come to think of it, I'd probably have chosen the USA anyway, but wouldn't have gotten it. I've never been that lucky but once in my life. I coulda been Chinese. There but for the grace of...um...how you say...urrrgghhh...

  Jesus, we don't have enough to deal with as Dubya and Co. destroy our sterling, ahem, reputation throughout what's left of the planet, we gotta feed and listen to the overpriviliged faux liberal

  anti-religious chic crap of people like you. Hey! People really ARE dying Out There. Not only in Irag and Nigeria, either - you doing any guilty volunteer work in Harlem? I'm sure.

  Oh, screw it. That's what we get for trying to make this experiment work. We gotta put up with everybody. Fine...

  Permalink Monday, April 17, 2006 12:09 AM