In honor of Steve Buscemi's character in Lebowski.

When he barks, I tell him to "Shut the fuck up, Donny!" just like Walter. It's a beautiful thing.

This is an impossible question, as "Lebowski", "Fargo", and "Barton Fink" are all viable candidates.

Ultimately, though, my primary Coen love has to go to "Miller's Crossing". Easily one of my top three favorite films of all time.

The only problem with your thesis, XJS AND ME, is that it makes the erroneous assumption that married people actually have sex.

"Getting a gut, getting cranky and not getting any is synonymous with being a straight suburban dad?"

Yes, absolutely.

If you're married man, why would you want to get MORE horny anyway? One of the advantages to getting older is losing those surging hormones of youth, and since the majority of wives want nothing to do with their husbands in bed, it's a relief for those husbands not to get all hot and bothered when they know there's no chance of release.

About 5 years ago I did a refinance through Countrywide, and in that time I've probably received 200 phone calls, 500 direct-mail pieces of paper, and 1000 emails all begging me to refinance again.

You think I'm exaggerating, but I'm not. No matter how many times you tell Countrywide to stop, they don't stop. They. Don't. Stop.

Excuse me, after typing that title I need to go lie down for a while.

Be a straight-up, honest, nice guy. Trust me, you'll never have to worry about birth control or STDs ever again.

You either watch Survivor and actively persue the destruction of the republic, or you have evolved to a higher state of being that only watches Masterpiece Theater and is able to lower their carbon footprint by powering their house entirely with their sense of self-importance.

Got it.

Anyway, I would say that much of Poverty's win depended on the bad luck of Jonathan's and James' injuries, but every winner is influenced by events far beyond their control. Too bad for Amanda that she borked the jury questions for the second final TC in a row.

There's always a "People still watch this?" Guy. Maybe it's the same guy for every thread, who knows. Your superiority to the totality of the human race is duly noted, "People still watch this?" Guy.

But the actual answer to the question is, yes, people do watch Survivor. 11.49 million people last night, to be specific.

The best ever season wouldn't have horribly designed challenges that cause competitors like Jonathan and James to get injured and be pulled for medical reasons.

The best ever season wouldn't have so-called "fans" that, other than Erik, very obviously had never seen the show before.

The best ever season wouldn't have dead weights like Kathy and Chet who should have been culled out in the early stages of the screening process.

The best ever season wouldn't hand a million dollars to smug "charity organizer" (ha!) Poverty.

The only reason she won, by the way, was the "twist" of a final two. In a final three, Cirie would have taken home the million in a landslide.

Are you allowed to say "horseshit" in a Sunday comic?

"The electronic news media does not need yet another meaningless spectacle..."

Oh, yes they certainly do! They've got 24 hours to fill every single goddamn day! What else is there for the news channels to talk about other than the meaningless spectacle?

After all, Anna Nicole Smith can only die once, but we get a SOTU every year.

Debaser, what you're missing about Bush's immigration policy is that it has NOTHING to do with being "humane". That is a complete joke.

Bush wants hordes of illegals streaming over the border because it provides dirt-cheap labor. Companies can pay barely above slave wages, raise profits, and (in theory) the economy is boosted by lower price points on consumer goods.

While importing illegal workers may keep the price of lettuce down a few nickels, it doesn't account for the billions of dollars we are spending on services for people who contribute almost nothing to the tax base. The state of California alone is spending $12 billion a year on social services for illegals.

Continuing to import poverty into our country and paying these poor people dirt wages is the furthest thing from "humane", on both sides of the border.

was that they didn't have idiotic Letters sections following them.

Not everything that appears on our planet requires comment. Neither does everything on Salon.

It's far easier to criticize, snipe, and whine about art than it is to create it.

...is the foam tittie hat.

Classic Breathed.

But reading your ramblings certainly was.

While the bloom is off the rose for both franchises, in their heydays, both "TAR" and "Survivor" have had their moments of utter brilliance. How many fictional TV shows can make that claim? Don't fall into that tired trap of wielding the broad brush that unjustifiably taints all "reality" shows as "garbage". Like any other genre, some of it's awful, some of it's good, and occasionally, it connects with the very essence of what it means to be human.

Wally George!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wally_George

If I had to choose the one writer that consistently makes me laugh, it would be Miss Alli from televisionwithoutpity.com.

A few Amazing Races ago, a competitor named Colin had a meltdown of apocalyptic proportions instigated by an unruly pack animal ("My ox is broken! This is bullshit!"). Miss Alli's recap of that incident is a masterpiece of comic writing, easily one of the funniest pieces I've ever read.

To my knowledge, Miss Alli is a female, Mr. Hitchens. Pour that in your tumbler and drink it on the rocks (if there's any room left in there).