I don't want to nitpick, but Sean Salisbury's name only has four syllables if you count his first name (and arguably, still only has three, if you go with the British pronounciation.) Salisbury the town is pronounced 'sols-bree'. I'd be willing to accept that Sean pronounces it "sols-bur-ree", but again that only gets us to three.

I want to go further in seconding King's suggestions: 11 players with no pads beyond what they allow in rugby (about the equivalent to what you wrap your laptop in around the head and shoulders) and say, three or four substitutions a game, with a baseball-like once-you're-out-you're-out-for-good rule.

It wouldn't be rugby because it would have the forward pass and blocking, but it would be exciting. It would also require pretty amazing athletes to play both sides of the ball. It would also restore respect for kickers because they would have to be able to play offense and defense.

You'd get the odd person over 280, but most of the big boys would be in the 245-270 range.

That would be a great game to watch. Throwbacks are all the rage. Why stop with the uniforms?

I agree that announcers can't draw me in, but they can sure turn me off. In general though, I think that like beauty, announcing skill is in the eye/ear of the beholder. For example, for me Joe Theismann is the Joe Morgan of football.

And I don't mean that in the way King would.

Nascissistic ex-jocks who constantly pontificate and then never admit they were wrong drive me nuts. Joe Morgan will say "Jeter really bit on that curveball". Then Jon Miller, God bless his soul, will look at the replay and say gently, "Actually, that was a straight four-seam fastball." To which Morgan will "like I was saying, Jeter has always had problem with the high hard stuff."

(Then, the phone rings and it's my father calling to ask if I just heard that and to commiserate that we are being forced to listen to Morgan.)

Really, Morgan re-writes history like a Soviet textbook manufacturer. And don't get me started on his grammar!

Theismann is just as bad. Hopefully TK will mock Theismann self-important prattling. He should start by calling him "THEES-min" like the family pronounced the name before realized that "THIGHZ-man" rhymes with Heisman.

Getting back to LT. I am never happy when someone is injured. But I made an exception in that case.

1. The " naked supermodel flamethrower fighting" line is the greatest thing King's ever written.

2. Didn't the lead Italian curler just look so Italian with those glasses? Talk about the bella figura!

3. Who cares about the Olympics when the winter is officially over now that picthers and catchers have reported? Let's play ball baby!

As a huge fan of world cup soccer and world cup rugby, I have long advocated a similar, quadrennial competition for baseball. I'm looking forward to it.

When all the English players take off their Man Utd, Chelsea, Liverpool, and Newcastle jersies and put on England jersies, it means something. When all the Kiwi players turn in their provincial jersies (or now, Super 12 jersies) and don the iconic All Black kit, it's a big deal. With all due respect to March Madness, the soccer world cup is far and away the most exciting sporting competition in the world regardless of whether your team is in it or not.

Players take it seriously. Fans take it seriously. It's special and an honor.

What makes that different from the WBC is that they've been doing that (taking time off from their regular team to represent their home nation in international competition) for more than a century. The WBC feels contrived because it's new. However, if something similar to the world cups developed in baseball, that would be wonderful.

I agree that it should be held in Novemeber. Except for the ALCS/NLCS teams, everyone would have had three to five weeks off to rest up. Latin players play MLB seasons followed by winter ball without too much of a problem. After all, come on, it's baseball. Not naked supermodel flamethrower fighting -- which apparently takes a fair bit of time to recover from between matches.

Kiora,

My NZ friend both neglected the non-black nicknames and left out the best of the All-Blacks puns.

The soccer team are the All Whites. The netballers are the Silver Ferns. The Rugby Leaguers are simply the Kiwis.

But the best name has to be the "Tall Blacks" for the national basketball team. The worst is the "black sticks" for the field hockey.

This may seem like pettiness, but Kiwis take their silver fern on black logo pretty seriously. There's a movement afoot to replace the current imperial flag (which looks like the Australian flag but with fewer and different colored and shaped stars) with one which features the emblem of the rugby team.

Seriously. http://www.nzflag.com/

Kia kaha.

Manhattan Jawz complains about the narrow sports world contained in this column. C'mon, we're talking about the NZ BADMINTON team! Just how much more inclusive do we have to get?

Here's an article on the whole sordid kerfuffle.

HEADLINE: NZ finds 'Black Cocks' hard to swallow

http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/09/15/nz_badminton_kerfuffle/