It has been established--and corrected by the NY Post--that Michelle Obama was not even staying at the hotel in question, therefore did not order lobster, caviar, or champagne. Get your facts straight and quit spreading false rumors.

...to get Sarah a one-way ticket back to Wasilla, I'd be glad to overlook the reeking hypocrisy (and possible illegality?) of her clothing & accessory allowance. The Dude and brood may have to use frequent-flyer miles from all those AK-government-paid vacations for "official business." (We all know nobody but Piper could have launched that snow-machine race.)

My Uncle Don (rest his soul) lived in Abilene and, for about a year of my Grandma's life, she lived with him there until returning to her tiny town of Hamlin, about 40 miles away or a bit further, dry county, lots of churches and Friday night football of the Hamlin High Pied Pipers, no movie theatre (either had to go to Sweetwater or all the way to Abilene for that) where she was able to be "back home" and lived a good life until age 98. Anyway, my sister, her kids and I made a visit to Abilene.

Well, Uncle Don took my sister and I out honky-tonking. Uncle Don liked his beer and cigarettes (neither of which my Grandma approved of). He joked about being a member of the "200 Club"--had to weigh at least 200 pounds to join--and his favorite song being "All my ex's live in Texas...that's why I hang my hat in Tennessee" (he'd been married three times). In one night, we went from a fancy "Rexall Cowboy" bar--think Gilley's in "Urban Cowboy"--to a roller rink converted to a line-dancing, two-stepping arena, then wound up a long night at a fairly seedy motel lounge bar which was still featuring live tunes, of a sort. On that night I also met my cousin, Don's son, for the first time (both of us then in our late 30s). I was a NYCity-ite at the time, a small-town CO girl who ended up living in NYC 20 years (thank you, Jesus--and Uncle L.B., who helped finance my move with the send-off of: "Better thee than me!"). But I guess I proved my Abilene-TX-street-cred because here's the verbatim quote I got from my newfound cousin: "When Aunt Florence [my mom] told me you lived in New York City, I thought you'd be real weird. But you're real normal!"

At that time, my grandma had lost three of her four kids--my dad, my other uncle, and an aunt I met as a child, but never knew. Don was gone just a couple of years later than the story above. My grandpa died in 1960, me one years old, and Grandma never looked to any other man--she loved her Lewis. All three boys served in the military. My dad, R.M. (actual name on birth certificate) somehow got a football scholarship from that teeny Hamlin to George Washington University. He didn't finish because WWII broke out and he enlisted in the Marines; he chose his branch. My Uncle L.B. went into the Army and after, got his education through the military, spent his later career as a U.S. Customs Inspector. Uncle Don went Air Force, similarly pursued his education, wound up a quite respected, albeit unorthodox, teacher of special ed kids.

I'm waxing sentimental, I know, but I'm giving myself some leeway on a Garrison Keillor article and I couldn't resist the Abilene pull. If y'all don't want to read, scroll on by or go get a corn dog and a Dairy Queen cone :) I am, however, changing gears.

Because...as other posters have noted, I also wonder what WERE you doing, GK, in Abilene of all places? I am a mongrel of rural and urban. I have much trouble integrating my seemingly innate, inborn liberal self with my Texas roots on my dad's side, and now am coping with a large contingency of ardent Republicans (yes, they still like Bush?!) in Arizona, a few in CO. They couldn't stand McCain when the election season first lunged upon us, but they certainly couldn't tolerate Hillary and then that guy who went to Rev. Wright's church and had a wife who wasn't proud of her country. I've tried, truly, to talk sense and make sense. I can't compete with Fox News, even with otherwise smart, educated people. Taxes, religion, and guns. Yes. Big topics. I can't even truly convince them that I can support the troops, yet not the war.

So, Mr. Keillor, thanks for my sentimental journey and for reminding me of my grandma's pecan pie. Just goes to show you--there truly are nice people out there in "Real America," but I have to agree with several other posters...they wouldn't necessarily be doing business deals on trust alone or giving a ride to work if it were "that one."

Geez, leave the post to go watch the news and come back to find out Klytus had a sex-change operation. Now THAT's news. Our October surprise!

Yes, SATIRE!

I think we all should start up a collection--pool our funds to pay Bob's extra $21.42 monthly taxes in exchange for his voting for Obama. Heck, we could probably even get a tax deduction for giving to a worthy cause, ya know, like donating to help improve mental health or cure ignorance.

Let's sell Lieberman on EBay.

(At least that icky photo is off the home page--looks like a retro prom date picture.)