That is a really good reason not to buy a secondhand mattress. Or a used sofa, recliner, or anything else, unless you know the people you're buying it/inheriting it from. Otherwise, you don't know where it's been and what kind of vermin might be living in it. Bedbugs are indestructible and will spread to all the upholstery and soft furniture in your house.

And for this very reason, I *am* kind of paranoid about staying in hotels and sleeping on "used" mattresses. When I make a reservation somewhere, I check the reviews very thoroughly to make sure there are no reports of bugs.

As impoverished graduate students we had a lot of Ikea furniture. Some was cheap and fell apart shortly--hey, the $20 aluminum recliner was $20 for a reason. However, there's a white dropleaf melamine table out in the garage that was our kitchen table for many years--bought for about $40 a few days after we got married back in the early 90s--and it's totally indestructible. Probably doesn't have a scratch on it, even though Dr. Trench attaches large pieces of woodworking machinery to it from time to time. And our pine dining room table and china hutch were quite nice--a bit more expensive, but real wood (as opposed to particle board)--sturdy and spare, and nice for an apartment. I sold them for a song to a grad student when we moved into our house and got new dining room furniture a few years ago. I wanted them to go to someone who would appreciate them.

What are you, his personal assistant?

What is it with parents these days? They have no common sense! Don't overthink this.

But what do I know? I don't have children. Look, my parents f----d me up. That's what parents do. I survived my parents. If he turns around and blames you in adulthood for his own deficiencies, it's his own weak character and not your bad parenting, because whatever you do, you're going to f--- him up. (I'm not being a prude by using dashes, just trying not to get this letter censored.) The best thing you can do is to preserve your own sanity, because when he's grown up and no longer dependent on you you'll have the rest of your life to live.

Michelle Obama's experience really resonates with me, actually, even though I don't have kids. I devoted an enormous amount of time and energy to supporting my husband through his grad school and early career all the way up to his being granted tenure at a major Midwestern research university. It wasn't always a certainty--there were lots of times when it looked like it would never happen at all. My career definitely suffered as a result. I lost summers and holidays and weekends with Dr. Trench. I wanted children, but knew they would be a distraction to him, that his students used up all his fathering talent. What can I say? I loved him and believed in what he was doing and how important it was to him too much, and it was hard, and there were lots of tears and resentments and angry arguments.

Now he's paying me back by supporting me through a massive career change, both emotionally and materially. That's how it works. I don't think Michelle Obama is a victim, and that's the very last thing she would call herself. Someone has to recognize the strong women who choose to step into the shadows and let their husbands do what they need to do, and then to demand their own chance, because in 2016 when all this is over and Sasha and Malia are grown, you definitely will not have seen the last of Michelle Obama--she'll just be hitting her stride.

Both instances mentioned in the story (which no one who has commented here so far seems actually to have read) pretty much demonstrate that women are as good at exhibiting quick thinking and discipline under fire as men and have the physical strength and endurance necesssary to do difficult things even when injured. While women have been (unofficially) in combat situations for years now, that ability just isn't highlighted enough.

Sounds like any time a parent forces a child of the opposite sex to stand in for his/her partner to satisfy unmet emotional needs, it veers onto dangerous ground. And this, as a previous letter writer points out, happens a good deal because there's nothing patently criminal about it, no matter how unhealthy it might be.

As for the rest...words fail me. Intellectually I can accept that women engage in these sorts of crimes just as men do. Viscerally, I just can't imagine it, and I don't want to try.

How about the U.S. guvmint plan doesn't pay for Viagra, either? Wasteful, and encourages bad behavior among foolish middle-aged men.

Two can play at this game.

If the former senator had been a vice-presidential nominee for a second time, and the affair had become public during the campaign, potentially dooming Obama's chances, Democrats might have been angry enough to give up on him permanently.

This Democrat has given up on him permanently and is astonished that there might be ANYONE out there who thinks he can have or deserves a comeback. Good god, this man is essentially a somewhat smarter Democratic Sarah Palin--pretty, vain, glib, and self-serving...and willing to put his own deluded, narcissistic ambitions far and away above the good of his party AND his country.

I've said it before and I'll say it again: We. Dodged. A. Torpedo. Not just the Democrats. The whole nation. Holy Mother of God, this man should never again be allowed to run for dogcatcher, let alone national office.