Not to sound like a cliche, but the best thing the LW can do is help her cousin figure out what her options are--in fact, help her cousin recognize that she has options and give her the means to go about identifying them. That's more important than money.

I'm always surprised at the folks who say, "The liberals will be offended, but..." and then go on to suggest the military, as if that's anathema to anyone who's ever voted Democratic. My father dropped out of college and enlisted in 1964; he was in the army for four years and did at least one tour in Vietnam. When he went in, he was failing all his engineering classes and couldn't do his own laundry. He had no family support whatever. When he came out, he was much more self-sufficient and was able to finish his degree. Some people get from the military what they couldn't get from their own families, and it's still a huge equalizer and means of social mobility. That should absolutely be an option for the LW's cousin. If she's smart, she could do well, and she could acquire a "family" that she didn't have in civilian life.

That said, the caveat from this reality-based liberal is that veterans who see combat and are injured--physically, psychologically, or both--still don't get what they need in terms of support from the VA. That's a consequence of the Bush administration's policies, and I hope those things are changing under the Obama administration, but change comes slowly. She'd be taking a huge risk. So, yes, advise her that the military is a good option, but she should make that choice with her eyes open.

I was expecting a whine about how you wanted to get married but couldn't because, well, you could go down to city hall and then out to dinner afterwards but it's your perfect daaaaayyyy and you want it to be just right and how can it be right without a band and a $2000 wedding dress and designer flowers and little favors, etc etc etc...

I was pleasantly mistaken. It sounds like it will indeed be a perfect wedding. I think ours had a similar budget and a lot of donated talents--we were very young and poor, and there was also a recession going on--and that made it all the more meaningful. (I went from just wanting to skip over the wedding and get on to the married part to having fond memories of the day, what I can remember of it.) I hope you have a lovely day and a wonderful life together.

are assholes. Fortini's right: you all are becoming tools of your machines. I had a similar reaction to the whiny NYTimes article, I have to admit, but when I consider that my sturdy little Samsung has gallantly withstood my everyday klutziness and absentmindedness for a year and a half, I have to reconsider my current plans to replace it with an iPhone in September.

I suspect that the dropped/delayed calls and speed issues are AT&T and not the phone itself--I have similar problems. Sometimes the call will be dropped, I'll wait for my husband or sister to call me back, and then watch as the phone doesn't ring but the call shows up as missed and goes straight to voicemail--that's when I want to hurl the thing across the room. The idea of going over to Sprint and getting a beautiful purple Lotus when my current contract expires is starting to become more and more appealing to me all the time.

One major objection, though: please don't text while driving. Where I live a university student was infamously killed while in the bike lane of a wide-open road when he was hit by a self-centered little teenaged bitch who was downloading ringtones while driving and went up on the bike lane because she wasn't paying attention to the road. There is no excuse for this. It is not some charming little secret sin which most of us commit on the road every day: it is a selfish, stupid demonstration of lack basic consideration for others. Dr. Trench bikes to work every day, and knowing what students, SUV moms, and others are doing in their large heavy pieces of machinery instead of keeping their eyes on the road makes me fear for his safety in ways I shouldn't have to.

I have what the author might consider frenemies, but I don't delude myself that I harbor any real feelings of friendship towards them. These women generally set themselves up as competitors. Problem is that I'm in a male-dominated field, and in order to get some kind of edge, these women, perceiving that I'm attached, often attempt to flirt shamelessly with a subject matter expert or male project lead, which either has no effect (knowledge trumps sex appeal for most of these guys, to their everlasting credit) or only works in the short term. I generally affect an "open," friendly, nonthreatening posture, but in reality I'm observing and gauging for vulnerabilities that I can use if I get undercut or stabbed in the back. I regret that I have to be this way, but I suspect men take a similar tactical approach. But these people are not, and could never be, real friends.

It's not that I consider real strength or greater talent or ability to be a threat; I can honestly say of my true work friends that, if we competed for the same position and they prevailed, I'd probably congratulate them wholeheartedly and feel that the best person got the job--I might feel some regret that it wasn't me, but very little if any envy. Rather, it's how much capability I judge another woman to have of being underhanded with me that determines whether I'm straight with her or not. For your own protection, you never let anyone know where you've drawn the lines--but you do have to draw the lines.