I married at 21. My college sweetheart (the best human being I have ever met, incidentally--our relationship sounds a lot like the LW's) and I were deeply in love and couldn't imagine living apart. We didn't even give a moment's consideration to just shacking up. Why alienate our rather conservative parents for no good reason, when we already were inseparable and planned to be so until death? Why not just formalize that inseparability in the eyes of God, the state, and society? (God has since been discounted from that group, but never mind.) I even (gasp!) took my husband's name--I wanted a new identity to go with my new life, one that I shared with him.

We've been together and more-or-less happy--the highs approximating blissful, the lows approximating merely content--for 18 years, and it's been an entirely equal partnership, although after all these years we still argue about who does the dishes. I find myself deeply irritated with people who tell me I'm allowing myself to be oppressed by the patriarchy--were my husband that sort of man, I simply wouldn't have married him.

Would I recommend marrying young? Probably not. When you're 21, you really don't know who you are yet. You may think you know where you're going, but you really don't. Same with your partner. We were extremely lucky that we were able to adapt to changes in each other's hopes and life goals, but we didn't go into marriage expecting those changes, and I don't think we were even fully mature then. In a way, you could say we grew up together, which made us even more inseparable. For us, though, it was dumb luck.

I hate that ideology plays such a huge part in the decision of women whether to get married or not, but I don't blame feminism for that--the history of marriage is such that deep suspicion and skepticism is an entirely reasonable reaction. However, it's still a distraction. The LW should be asking herself, and her boyfriend, whether they can handle inevitable change, whether they will both put the marriage above everything else (important!), whether they're prepared to be attuned to changes in each other that--if they're not vigilant--could transform a familiar companion into a stranger, and not whether by joining their lots together they're somehow selling out to the patriarchy.

I forget where I heard this, but supposedly Jennifer Aniston said something about Pitt being extremely anal-retentive about all the antiques in his house, and how when they were married she'd felt like she was living in a museum. Kinda seems to me that putting so much store by breeding that you dump your wife for a more-willing womb is kinda incompatible with having a house furnished entirely by Sotheby's, but some people just never think about anything but the Kodak moments.

Ask the Women Who Pee Standing Up. (http://www.ampnet.co.uk/femorabilia/pee_standing.html)

I'm not sure whether to be horrified or amused by the claims that childless people are parasites. Are we? I gladly pay rather high property taxes for good schools and nice parks and city summer programs that subsidize violin and dancing lessons and theatre for the kiddies, because it keeps them out of my hair. Oh yeah, and it makes them happy.

To the singles and other childless posting here to complain: I would suggest that you heed the advice of a previous poster, pipe down, and exploit the opportunities you have to arrive at work without spit-up or jam on your collar, travel halfway round the world at a moment's notice, or churn out tons of work without being interrupted by some whiny second-grader calling you from the secretary's office because she forgot her homework AGAIN. And then go home to your "prior commitment." (Mine is a peaceful dinner by candlelight with my husband, although I've never used my wedding ring as a weapon, honest.) Ignore the condescension and self-righteousness of the parents who are flaming you here and enjoy your chaos-free life. Living well is the best revenge.

On various blogs dealing with weddings, I often see all this female angst about wanting to be the "cool fiancee" who doesn't mind her betrothed going out to watch other naked women gyrating lewdly right before they get married. I just don't get this. Why would you want to marry someone who hadn't gotten all that out of his system long ago?

My fiance had a bachelor's night out, sort of, but it involved all the men in the wedding party (three recent college grads and two 13-year-old boys) going out for pizza, video games, and a late night viewing of Star Trek IV.

(And no, he hasn't gotten any of that out of his system.)

I love the atmosphere, especially in the middle of the day--it's like another world. I ask you, what could be better--naked women, aroused men, blacklights, ZZ Top...

Too bad my soon-to-be-ex-husband was too sensitive to go to one of those "sordid, depressing" dives, but then, it's indicative of why our nearly 20 year marriage finally failed.

What a brilliant, tongue-in-cheek sendup of--lemme guess-- Nerve?

In the unlikely event that you're not simply trolling, I hope you found someone more acceptable to your tastes. Maybe one of those guys hanging out in the tittie bar in the middle of the afternoon.