Letters to the Editor
cd4928
Published Letters: 47 Editor's Choice: 4
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veterinarians need to like people too
[Read the article: I want to be a veterinarian but not at the expense of animals ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My vet office is kind of preachy. I am an average pet owner. My pets are important but not the center of my world. I get them very good quality food, get regular checkups, but there is also a strain in some vet clinics where if you don't get their teeth cleaned regularly and get expensive blood tests every time you go to the vet, you are a bad pet owner.
I love my pets, but they aren't people. And I'm not going to be guilted into getting expensive procedures for animals who would just as soon drink out of the toilet.
I was reading the post by veterinarian, which was good. I don't think I'm at the level of those clients, but when I was referred to a specialist for my cat's problem, and after the appointment I called the original referring vet back to schedule a euthanasia, they said "WHY?" as though I was taking the easy way out for opting out of a $5000 surgery that had an unknown chance of success. And, if not successful, would require manual peeing and pooping of my cat for the rest of its life.
So, maybe I am a bad pet owner? When my other cat passes on (not that I'm waiting, I enjoy her company), I'm not going to get any more pets. It's gotten so complicated when it used to be so simple. And vets cash in on that complication.
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I'm really tired of letters like this
[Read the article: I got the writing fellowship -- so now I'm terrified!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm not reading any more letters about writing for the rest of the year.
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@frankbquotes
[Read the article: I got the writing fellowship -- so now I'm terrified!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Ha ha, I didn't even read your comment before I posted mine. Yes, I second your call for no more boring writing letters.
Sometimes the comments are more interesting than the letter.
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Here's another idea
[Read the article: I got the writing fellowship -- so now I'm terrified!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]After this letter, I also will not POST anything to the forums. Maybe they measure success by how many comments something gets. We should cut it off cold - no reading it, no comments, just switch to Slate that day.
I like your advice, Cary, nothing personal, just you should also start a writing advice column on the side, not use THIS column for that all the time. Or, you could correspond personally, outside the column.
Or, do whatever you want. I'll read and enjoy the others, but no more writing for me, whatever you do.
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Volunteer!
[Read the article: What should we do with our $3 million?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Man, there are so many ways you can help. And your free time is actually MORE valuable than the money.
Be a Big Sister in the Big Brothers/Sisters program, for a kid whose parents are not adequate. You would be breaking a cycle of dysfunction.
Or, if you don't like kids, the Adult Literacy League will hook you up with someone who doesn't know how to read and train you how to teach them to read.
At least sign up this election year to register people to vote.
If I spent my life drinking and idling around, I would for sure get depressed after a while. But maybe that's not the same for you. But, then again, you did write this letter. So maybe using your life for some useful purpose might not be a bad idea.
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Men are NOT allowed excess without complaint
[Read the article: The mother-daughter wars]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"However, great men are allowed every excess and failure; great women are never forgiven for making a single mistake."
I don't think that is true. The working man who sacrifices his family to his career is so common as to be cliche. And it is generally not admired (anymore).
I also deplore the old argument that since men can behave dishonorably, women should be able to, too. It's fine with sexual conduct between singles (a consensual choice), but with parenting? BOTH men AND women are on the hook for that, sorry.
If you are a feminist who wants to follow your muse, then great! But DON'T HAVE KIDS!
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@mdaf28
[Read the article: The mother-daughter wars]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"The ironic aspect of feminist thought, however, at least the 2nd wave, is how unempathic and intellectually and ideologically walled off it actual is."
I agree. Second wave feminists modeled their success on the paradigm created by men. And, in doing so, gave up some of their members' innate strengths.
Maybe it had to be that way. I certainly enjoy the fruits of many of their hard-won victories. But it can't CONTINUE that way. Women who are empathic have been marginalized in feminism and are either trying to have their voices heard within feminism or dropping out of it altogether.
There are many, many women who see their empathic abilities as a strength, not, as some other poster described, as being an "emotional vending machine." Just because the male hierarchy devalued this gift doesn't mean feminism should as well.
And let's try to encourage those empathic MEN out there, they are suffering, too.
"The Will to Change" by bell hooks is an example of this new, softer (yet stronger because of its flexibility) form of feminism.
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You don't owe her anything. You don't owe her anything.
[Read the article: My whole family is alcoholic. How to protect the kids?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I agree with the poster who said that sharing DNA does not obligate further relationship.
I saw in your letter someone who is bending over backwards to fit herself and her children into her mother's life. Why are you doing that? Would you accept such a one-sided relationship with anyone else? Would you allow it for your kids? Not to mention the ACTIVE scorn.
When you were a child, you learned how to read your mother, how to "live around" her issues to both survive and try to get the love you needed. Makes sense.
But your life is SO much bigger now. SO much more in your control. It's like the cage door has been opened but you're still sitting there. She's not your family. Your children, husband and healthy friends are your family.
She's an adult who bears sole responsibility for her life. You don't have to hate her, but you DO NOT NEED her. And neither do your kids. She is simply IRRELEVANT.
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That was one of the best dharma talks I've ever read.
[Read the article: I'm secretly addicted to porn]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I needed this today. Thank you.