Letters to the Editor
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Published Letters: 21 Editor's Choice: 1
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Rethink Priorities
[Read the article: The strange case of midnight renegade oleander gentrification camouflage]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This woman is old and frail, she has a terminally - or, at least, significantly - ill son and you want her to care about oleanders?
Think about it. Your husband is dying. You are worried about:
(1) him
(2) paying for his medical care
(3) attending to your own health issues
(4) what you will do without him
(5) eating
(6) sleeping
(7) getting clean and dressed (maybe)
(8) paying bills
(9) communicating with your friends and family
(10) a whole slew of other things that have absolutely nothing to do with the petty sensibilities and bickering of your neighborhood.
They don't give a damn about those oleanders. Support and respect them by recognizing what *is* important to them and their lives and seeing how you can support that. And stop worrying about trivial appearance-based b.s. like oleanders and outdoor furniture.
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First
[Read the article: I am the keeper of secrets]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Find a new job. Now.
Next, focus on your "dear" marriage. Is "dear" good enough, or not? For some the answer is yes, for some it is not. Solve your own marriage problem first. Don't dally around with the other guy trying to find out if he's really going to leave her so you can leave too. If it is good enough, then you accept that. Accept you're not going to be "in love," but you can still have a good life with a good partner. And you stop undermining it. If it's not good enough, try to solve it with your husband, or leave. *After* you leave, you can be confidante - and whatever else suits the two of you - to OG. If you don't leave, OG will have to find a new friend, or maybe a paid professional, to whom he can unburden his soul.
Stop being a confidanate to the wife. When she asks why, you make up some nice tidy answer that isn't "because I really love hearing how bad things are and how your marriage is going to break up." Because you know you do or you wouldn't have any problem here at all.
You know where the current train is going, and you know it's headed for a wreck. The ride might be exciting, but the wreck will be worse than the ride was fun. Get off now.
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Actually, "nothing" isn't necessarily true
[Read the article: Today's moral outrage: Bikini waxes for 8-year-olds]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]My daughter had hair at the age of 7, and it was noticable through swimsuit/underwear at 8. This was rather mortifying to her, especially at swimsuit times. I would have been far more inclined to have her get a wax then, than I am now when she is 13.
She is not in to the idea of having her hair ripped out by the roots, however, or of a stranger seeing her "there," so it's a non-issue. She has a trimmer. I am interested to meet the 8 year-olds who are neither resistant to pain nor painfully modest.
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How do you reconcile daily life?
[Read the article: We want a kid but don't think it's right to have one]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Every day. Every single day, you do things that impact others, without asking them. You drive, you change lanes. And the person in the car you just merged ahead of is now 5 seconds later than she would have been, thereby instead of just missing the careeening bus, she is solidly in its path. Boom.
You do your best, you bet on the outcomes of your actions being typical rather than atypical. You don't take yourself so damn seriously, and imagine you can control the perfection of others' lives. You remember that even things that are asked for are not always best, and sometimes we never ask for the things we want and need the most.
Think about why you want so desperately. If the answer is anything - anything - other than "because we want to take the ride and see where we go," don't do it. You cannot predict the journey or the destination, you can only make the best of it as you go.
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No
[Read the article: Does Hillary Clinton remind you of your mom?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Keep trying. One of these days you'll it the magic solution as to why some women don't support Hillary.
So far, we've tried...
- Bill
- Monica
- We're all "in love" with Obama
- Deep seated anti-feminism
- Overt sexism
- Our moms
I'm sure I've missed some!
Maybe, just maybe, it's not a thing against women, it's just that we don't like what Hillary has shown us.
Maybe, just maybe, we simply don't think she'd be as good of a President as Obama.
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They'll get to use it again
[Read the article: Bush rewards Petraeus with Central Command]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"Sir, the American people think this might be an obvious bit of quid-pro-quo for Gen. Petraeus' testimony to congress."
"So?"
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You said it Amy
[Read the article: Feminism is the new funny]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"The way to do it," said Poehler, "is to do what men do, which is you just assume power. You're not grateful for it."
Bingo.
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You can't undo not going
[Read the article: I don't want to go to my college friend's wedding]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'm a party introvert. I skipped 2 weddings because I just didn't feel socially strong enough to go.
I sincerely, deeply regret skipping both of these and they were more than 20 years ago.
If you go, and it sucks, it's a weekend out of your life - but you did it. If you don't make that effort, the regret can dog you for a long time. Long after, I'm quite sure, the bride and groom would give it another thought, or really remember if you were there. You'll know.