Letters to the Editor
Cosmic Mojo
Published Letters: 687 Editor's Choice: 13
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stop denying
[Read the article: Daddy's becoming a woman!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I don't know LW, you write and list all these concerns and problems, and then when people respond by agreeing with you that you should be concerned about these problems, you write back defensively saying the cutting isn't a problem and to stop picking on you.
That denial is part of the problem, that changing what little stability this kid has IS scary, it isn't an excuse for a tea party, it's scary. The child will ultimately think what she thinks of it based on her own values regardless of what you tell her. Genetics, preference, bad childhood, the causes of gender misassignment are of little concern to the child now. All she knows is her world is crumbling around her and she needs reassurance that it'll all work out in the end, not a happy face pasted on.
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snow white fantasies of this Christian family
[Read the article: My husband has Chinese ancestry but his son wants to keep it secret]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I thought the family was black. There is often a huge asian racism in some african-american communities.
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a good employee who got caught in a bad situation.
[Read the article: I was fired because I was the fall guy. What do I say in interviews?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'd say take a little from all this good advice, but focus on finding a upbeat way to explain your desire to work with a new team.
And then invest $50-$75 dollars on a career counselor who'll help you with positive wording that IS honest, but forward-looking.
Too much information would make you look like someone with a bad attitude or lack of appreciation for professional boundaries. Everyone understands these things happen, but HR people have a lot of resumes to weed out and any excuse will do to whittle the number down: bad attitude, not a team player, chip on shoulder, can't get the job done.
Everything that must come out should be spun into a positive statement about what you learned, how you work, how you solve problems, etc. But really, you should hone a positive statement that you're looking for an opportunity to work with a team that blah blah blah (insert something you DO want that's relevant to your field and makes the company you're interviewing with look good). This is why you need a job coach, it's a small investment that'll be reaped may times over in your first paycheck.
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well it sure ain't about the cats
[Read the article: Daddy's becoming a woman!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]The people here who try to villify the LW because she lets cats outdoors are a little overzealous! Lots of people let their cats outdoors and it doesn't mean they're horrible people. Not all vets or animal lovers agree cats should be locked indoors. Many people beleive that cats should be able to live as their nature intends: outdoors. Many people beleive that to lock a cat indoors is to deny his true nature for his whole life. It would be like locking a zoo animal indoors instead of letting him run free in the wild. I and my extended family have all had cats who were allowed to go outdoors and they all lived long healthy lives.
Anyway, that argument and self-rightous blame does not belong here. This issue is about the child's stress and the father's choices. Leave cat-raising issue to another forum.
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jOB COACH MUST BE LOCAL
[Read the article: I was fired because I was the fall guy. What do I say in interviews?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I know there are good people who want to build career coach careers using the internet, email and the phone, -- but you've GOT to find someone local. They need to coach you in interview skills and that means seeing your face, your eyes, your demeanor when you answer tough questions. It's just not something that can be done without face-to-face meetings.
For references, ask professional freinds, psychiatrist, GP, local university career service, minister, etc.
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Companies cannot violate internal policy to put you in a bad situation and then blame you and fire you for an accident.
[Read the article: I was fired because I was the fall guy. What do I say in interviews?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]depends on the state. Is it a 'right to work' state?
For example in Virginia, they can fire you for most any reason besides those few federally protected categories (race, gender, physical disability). In right-to-work states, empoyers can fire you for any other reason.
Look forward to creating a new opportunity. Unless you were fired for your race, gender or disability, don't waste time thinking about suing your previous employer.
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There is a clear distinction between being fired and being laid off (or "forced to resign"), and it is important -- if you are FIRED (i.e., FOR CAUSE) then you cannot get unemployment compensation from the state.
[Read the article: I was fired because I was the fall guy. What do I say in interviews?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]wow, that stuff REALLY varies state to state.
For example is Virginia, you'll eligible for unemployment benefits even if you were fired for not doing your job sufficient to their desires as long as you weren't fired for misconduct. There's a specific definition of misconduct, invoving deliberate attempts to affect the company's well being; sabotague. Just doing a bad job and being fired for it isn't enough to disquaify you for unemployment.
As I said, it really varies state to state, so don't rely on general info someone posts here without knowing what state they're talking about.
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everyone should read interrobang's letter
[Read the article: I was fired because I was the fall guy. What do I say in interviews?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]thanks! I'm going to always have a reference check service bookmarked in case I need to know what an ex employer would say about me. I do have a nasty boss in my background and I'd like to be prepared and know what lies he tells. As another poster said, if they lied when you worked for them, be assured they're still lying.
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The problem with Cary's advice, and those agreeing with him (for clearly political reasons)
[Read the article: I don't want more kids but my wonderful husband does]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]There are many reasons people would like Cary's answer besides political. Of the couples I know where Dad stays home, it's purely financial, as a matter of fact. Wife earns more, so when it was time to choose a parent to stay at home with the kids, they chose Dad. End of story, no big political message. And I think a lot of stuffed shirts would be wise to realize that: down here in the trenches, we make decisions based on what works best for our families, not to make a theoretical political message. We can't afford that, we need to run our families, work, live, try to enjoy life. And that takes real solutions, not choices based on what some talking head on TV says is the right choice.
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and plus
[Read the article: The stone is cast]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I'll tell you what else he did before he got famous with his moral majority gig. He was well known in Va. for: (1) pressuring sick elderly people to will there estate to his church. I know people who's elderly relatives were tricked into giving everything to him. Very slimy.
(2) His compound in Va was always guarded by thugs with machine guns. Not a very comfortable situation.