geeze, I've had life plans my whole life! They were pretty simple when I was young, but I was developing hopes. At 6 i wanted to be a ballerina. At 12, I wanted to be a teacher. At 16 I wanted to be an architect. ... skip some years ... at 40 I'm thinking of going back to school to get another degree in microeconomics. We ALL have hopes at EVERY age. It doens't have to be sophisticated, not all of us can be Senator. But at every stage of life, we can think of WHAT WE WANT and HOW TO GET IT. BE it a new doll, or a house by the lake.

Maybe the phrase "life plan" is intimidating to you. No, not everyone goes to college, my husband didn't. But he had hopes and then figured out what he had to do to get there. And he, like me, and everyone else, hit phases where he didn't' know what to do. Everyone wants to grow up and be in control of their own life, so we all have to figure out how to make that work. Go to college? Or Vo-tech school. Find a skill somehow? Or you want to just work minimum wages for the rest of your life? How will you buy a car? Rent an apartment? Your answers to those questions IS your life plan, always subject to revision.

Slinging insults and calling people stupid just because you don't like their worldview IS immature. Part of growing up and learning how to make your own way in the world involves accepting information, processing it, using it to educate yourself--not spitting out insults just because you hear an unfamiliar idea. It's kinda lame to just insult things you don't like or understand.

What would YOU like out of life?

why are you so angry kid?

I don't mean a specific year-by-year agenda for the next 50 years ("and then at age 43 I'll have been elected to the state legislature AND written two award-winning novels...")

I MEAN: What do you want to be when you grow up? EVERY kid starts saying that when they're about 4 or 5 and we add/delete to that 'plan' as we grow. Do you want to go to college? Yes or No. Do you want to be a doctor? Do you like tinkering with motors? We have ideas by 18 and we should be able to express them and ask for advice on how to acheive them. I don't mean a 93 page outline of what you'll do, but just "what are you thinking you'll DO in your life? What do you want? What do you like? How do you think you'll survive?

I just said that my husband didn't go to college (and has no plans to ever go)--so you can't tell me I'm smug about college. I do NOT believe everyone should go to college or that you can't suceed without it. Heck, my plumber makes more money than I do. And rightly SO, what he does IS HARD. marc, you are very angry, and you probably have some good reasons to be angry--but don't insult me just because I hope for the best for everyone. Asking an inner city girl (oh...like ME!) if she wants to go to college isn't mean or stupid, it's aiming for the highest. I'd like to encourage her to aim for the life she wants. Maybe she wants to be a farmer, I don't know. What if I said the opposite, that she shouldn't go to college because she's from the inner city, you'd call me a bigot! I don't believe our socioeconomic status dictates our life. I didn't let it hold me back, I didn't let people like you tell me I couldn't go to college just because I needed scholarships. I aimed for what I wanted and I will continue to encourage every kid to do so. I'd never tell a kid to give up on his dreams just because he's latino like you say.

A life plan can be college: auto repair school, the armed services, vo-tech training, winnig the lottery (bad plan, but a plan nonetheless).

'get Out NOw

really?

Instead of seeing guitar practice as time away from your kids, take them to lessons, buy them a guitar, buy them songbooks and use practice as together time. I know the practice was alone time, and you can still do some of that, but you won't feel as guilty practicing more if you arne't stealing time from your kids. YOur life is pretty good: you have kids, a comfortable incomre, respect and fulfillment at your career, a nice home--all of which many of us didn't get, can't figure out how to reach our potential. Be grateful fo the great life you do have.

There is no exception. She asked you to stop contacting her so you do it. And you focus on learning how to respect a woman's wishes. You have multiple counts where you didn't resepct her wishes and I think she got a little scared. There is no going back. LEarn your lessons and move ahead. It is creepy if a man doesn't respect this sort of request and thinks HIS wants supercede her request. That's stalkertalk. IT's over.

Geesh, not all Southerners are creationist bible-thumpers. Some of us are acutally liberal agnostics. WITH OPEN MINDS. You make a lot of assumptions even though you preach to your son about assumptions. Here is a chance to teach your son by example.

Complain to HER boss that you DO NOT do business with people like that. DO IT. That is the ONLY way to stop it.

It isn't the length that makes a big one so great, but the WIDTH

be supportive and let the publisher be the bad guy

That's a great reason to live a lie.

What does the man who's been paying all these years for another man's child think? Doesn't he get a say in this?