It helped me to read it once in a magazine. it's very common among newly divorced guys. Push me, pull you. He's casual until you're casual, then he's serious. The next step is if you relent and get serious, he'll back away quickly, run like the wind as if you were being pushy.

When I read they dynamic explained, it made so much sense, I hope I can remember it well. It has to do with him wanting to FEEL like he's in a relationship, but NOT having the nerve to actually BE in one, so you're put through the constant back and forth. He's into the fantasy of a relationship, but once you respond he freaks, cuz he doesn't want it to actually be real, so he runs and blames you for being pushy.

The email was horrendous. Simply horrendous. That in and of itself is enough to break off all future contact. As if the email let him off all obligations to be fair and honest. "well I DID email you!!!" Please find a human being.

Ya dodged a bullet girl. Good for you for maintianing so much grace.

You'd be 100% right Cheeky, if he hadn't ended the last email with "Love." You'd have been right if he ended with "let's be freinds," but when he tried to swing it back to being together again after the double-email, he WAS misleading.

But someone stole that jewelry and THAT is both evil and illegal. the stolen jewelry took this from a typical teenager girl with lots of drama to larcony.

Maybe current hubby didn't ask her to style her hair to suit him. She never did it when you told her to cuz you were bossing her around. Now she's free to choose and she chose to do it on her own terms. Not her hubby. Her own terms.

She was biting her nails cuz you were nagging her.

Now her new husband doesn't boss her around, so she feels relaxed instead of stressing, so she doesn't bite her nails and they are long and beautiful.

I think you should be focusing on your CURRENT wife's hairdo!

long hair is in style for 40 somethings now (Housewifes of Orange County). Short hair was in style for 20-somethings 20 years ago (punk rock)

Girl, you need to focus on making a future for yourself. You don't sound like a very mature 18 year old who has any idea of how she's going to become self sufficient, or create her life dreams.

GO. TO. SCHOOL.

Mom pays for room and board, she DOES have a say in what kid does, where she goes, when she gets home, who she is with.

If daughter wants freedom, she has to support herself. Those are the rules, we didn't make them up: they are called REAL LIFE.

So I'm not supporting or condeming Mom's actions: just noting daughter's choices. Stop with the blaming need to say who is right. and just focus on daughter's choices. She can stay or go, but each comes with responsibilites and effects. That's what adults do: think about the reprecussions of choices and make informed choices.

What do you want to do when you grow up? Seriously. You've thought of something, maybe grown out of that, on to something else. I wanted to be a ballerina, then a teacher, then an architect. You've thought about the future? Where do you see yourself? What are you doing? How can you work towards that goal? *IF* you really are mature, you should be thinking this way. How does Mr. Cool fit into your life plan?

Convince us you really ARE mature.

That would be true if LW were financially and physically independant. But she is not. She IS Mom's dependant. Mom is the head of the household and has the right to enforce household rules. If kid doesn't like household rules, she IS 18 and is welcome to move out, get a job, find an affordable apartment and make her own rules. Don't do it LW, it's next to impossible without a solid college education.

And regarding Birth control: once you get on the pill, dont give up the condoms. AIDS is alive and thriving and a playa can spread a lot of disease very quickly. An unplanned pregnancy is not the only life-altering thing that can happen to a trusted young lady having unprotected sex. Be safe.

why does saying "you need to be more responsible at age 18" get some so mad? I thought that's what LW wants, to be a grownup making up her own rules? You get that when you act responsibly... Why so angry?

THE PILL DOES NOT PROTECT YOU FROM AIDS!

I don't think at 18, adult talk was all "yak yak yak" to me. That's how i felt at 14 to 15 or 16. But by the time I was finishing high school, I was excited to be growing up to be an adult! I wanted to think about my future, my plans, my hopes. I wanted to BE an adult, hang out with adults, talk with adults. that teenage zoning out thing was gone, I wanted to grow up so fast.

Yea! My boss tries to do that to me every day! He thinks just cuz he gives me a check every week I have to do work while I'm at the office 8 hours a day! the nerve! How dare he use economic leverage against me!