after *how* long? and before he even got divorced?

Eveyone has to grow up here.

Wife has to find a job with benefits and sign the divorce papers.

Husband has to BE ALONE. Divorce, be alone, heal. THEN start dating again.

LW has to ease up on the need to have a man that's so bad she'd ignore good sense and live with a married man she's known for a few months.

Everyone work on themselves, gaining financial and emotional self-sufficiency and then start dating after clearing up huge issues.

It's manipulative of you to claim YOUR WANTS are the same as his needs. HIS NEEDS are to resolve his current marriage issues, clear his head, not date for a while.

Having a baby with a man who can't committ to you is not good for the man, you or the baby.

Sure, anything can be nogotiated.--But is COSTS ALOT more.

If you have health insurance at work, adding your spouse is an extra $40 a month. Adding an UNRELATED ex is $400 a month. OR you might have to just go buy another seperate expensive policy, no employer is obligated to give you a cut rate for an ex's insurance. (of course actual numbers will vary, but you get my point)

Not so much judgement, but "told you so."

You put your hand in a fire, you get burned.

You live with a married man and you get caught in some nasty crossfire.

I don't know what "these days" has to do with it.

Although divorce is easier and less stigmatizing now, most folks still do know that it ain't over til it's over.

YES.

How on earth could you support some other logic where HE is obligated to support you as you like, but not the other way?

OTherwise, you're just a KEPT houswife who's hobby is writing rather than scrapbooking. Until you're self sufficient, you're just a dependant.

Good thing no one said that about LW. SHE was giving the chance to bloom WITH SUPPORT. H should have the same chance. OR, OK, let's enforce that standard. LW should cut all support from hubby and proves she's worthy.

You're NOT compatible

He's too nice to date a cheater; and you have no problem cheating on your BF. You have very different values (well, he has them, you don't). Leave him to a nice girl who won't cheat on him.

That IS annoying. Let's be honest and admit, tho, that it's not exclusive to the left side of the aisle. Conservatives often refuse to date people who don't go to the right church, don't vote right, don't attend the right rallies. etc. We all do it, try to find someone with shared values, we all often can't see the forest for the trees.

there's the 2-year old tendancy to only want the toy the other baby has and to lose interest as soon as it's your's.

As otheres mentioned the stupid aggorance of self-identifying as "highly intellegent"

The whole irresponsible living with new BFs that distorts your sense of self, committment and expectation.

But most annoying is the choising BFs based on their career prospects and the inability to be alone.

is your soul mate the one who showers you with veiled insults?

She's a mess cuz every adult she's ever met ignores her! her mom, her dad, her Dad's GF!

DENTAL FLOSS

LW and ex hardly hang out, but now they're--beyond LW's control!--vacationing in Europe together. Sorry, but too much coincidence. LW is hot for ex and is going to do the eurotrash with him. You know what they say, vacation sex doesn't count. For someone so close to your cousin/sister, you have shallow faithfulness to your friends.

Turn OFF the computer and interact with REAL people. Then you will get some real problems, it is human nature. But don't waste brain energy on virtual problems. Your real problem is that you thing the decision to friend or not on facebook matters at all. The problem is you're giving something shallow far too much importance.

For what it's worth, you should friend her becasue it's an ephemeral act that's meaningless. The insult of not friending would be more than it should. Click the button and move on with life.

And then start living life outside the virtual world.

Maybe you're not one who says it. To me, saying it is a bit unnatural, becuase you're using words to replace actions. If you show your appreciation through your actions, the words are necessary. Showing is better than telling. If you feel like they're looking for more, do more things to show your love. I always laugh at people who tell us they're good people, etc. If you're good we can tell by your actions, you don't have to tell us. IN Fact, if we can't detect that by your actions, saying doesn't make it so.

So SHOW your family you are grateful they're in your life. They can tell.

If you show your appreciation through your actions, the words are NOT necessary.

You go to the the wedding. No question.

On the other hand, if you even have to ask, maybe you're a souless robot and should go to the work conference. You've been to professional conferences before, you know what they're like. If you'd choose that over a family member's once in a lifetime need, you have no soul.

you DO NOT let other people define you. You DO NOT let other people control you. He is a monster and you are being victimized by him (doing ALL the breadwinning AND the housework!). Tell him from this point on: (1) EQUAL sharing of chores, (2) EAch individual gets to practice thier own values. You can eat meat if you like and it will NOT ruin the world or your husband's sensibilities. He's an abuser. Don't let him to that do you any more.