you're about to reveal to your girlfriend just how pathetic your are, that's all. Doesn't matter what the lie was about, in fact, the minor nature of the lie makes it worse, that you feel so inferior about your life that you had to lie about your grandparents in order to feel good about yourself. That's sad.

I think you'll look like such a loser she'll move on to someone more grounded.

And you will have learned a valuable lesson abou what you say about yourself when you lie. You can choose what your life will be like with your future actions, but I think you've pretty much sealed your fate with this relationship.

it's pathetic

^ only we DON'T.

You've been running around lying your whole life, saying "everyone does it" to make yourself feel better. but we don't. Lying is for losers who have nothing better to do with their lives.

Sadly, everyone doesn't do it and you just look pathetic like you are so low on self confidance you have to make stuff up.

We're all OK with who we are so we don't need to lie about dumb things. We admire people who can't be bothered with lying because they're too busy living life, not making it up.

before one of you posters paints Sam Kinieson as a victim of some kid with a substance abuse problem, please acknowledge that Kinison had traces of cocaine, prescription tranquilizers, and codeine in his bloodstream; so he was also intoxicated during the auto accident that killed him. we'll never know how much was his drunken fault and how much was the kid's drunken fault.

I know you're going through real pain and suffering, but good god almighty, you seem a little addicted to addiction, "recovery", drama.

You need to go to your groups for support, but you seem so unable to view the world through anything but "recovery" glasses, talking with phrases that have little real meaning. Using lots of phrases that make me think you LIKE having this big drama in your life. Addicts are addicted to intoxicants, but sometimes their spouses are the sort who are addicted to being caught up in drama. What would fill the void if you couldn't use the word "recovery" in a sentence? You need to have some real parts of your life that aren't about the drama. You like having the lingo, the insider's language, the drama, the look at me look at me drama.

and yeah, sometimes you just gonna say "shut up you drunk."

NO.

What's the matter with having boudaries and standards of behavior? You NEED to have minimum expectations of how you'll be treated and if he breaks them, you let him know it is NOT acceptable. If OUCH is in line, say OUCH, you're not treating me with respect and I expect respect. You've let him get away with verbally abusing you for years and he thinks it's OK to treat you that way. It is not.

when I said there's no way to say ouch and be loving, I didn't mean don't say ouch.

I meant SAY OUCH without apology or guilt. We all must expect we deserve fair treatment and letting someone know they're hurting us and that the behavior is not acceptable is cricital to self worth. He must be expected to act with respect, love and maturity. Funny, the letter's about husband thinking he doesn't deserve love, but the wife is in the same mindset. She accepts abusive treatment and feels guilty if she says "you're hurting me".

That's what you need to say LW: "you're hurting me and it is NOT acceptable."

You are a doctor, your parents are 70 surviving on social security and you make then pay YOU a few hundred DOLLARS a month to pay you back for YOUR wedding expenses?

That is so disgusting I can't even calm down. You are horrible person with no compassion. It is so so so disgusting I can't even think straight. You are committing elder abuse. You are the scum of the earth truely. I can't even hold still, I'm so concerned for you parents. What kind of creep are you? sick sick sick.

which is still WAY more than her parents get on Social Security. To make them 'pay back' money SHE spent on HER wedding is horrendous. I don't care if you're a bag clerk at the local pic n' pay, you don't make POOR ELDERY parents give you money to 'pay back' what you (unnecessarily) spent on your elaborate wedding. The woman is shallow, without empathy and financially abusing her elderly parents.

a few hundred dollars a month is not a token amout for elderly people on social security; it's a significant part of thier limited income--with damned little left to pay for housing, food, medicine, medical (not all is paid by Medicare), heat. I wouldn't be surprised if they're letting something really significant go unpaid (medicine?) so they can meet their monthly payment to their deveil spawn daughter.

what human being would make their elderly parents pay them money that they can ill afford? I am truely horrified.

You need to practice accountability. You like to do things and then say "it was my husband's idea" to absolve yourself of any responsibility. He sounds horrible with no soul, I can't imagine what was attracitve about him other than his money. You seem to want to have your cake and eat it too, be with the wealthy man, let him CONTROL you, but SAY you don't care about money, say things were his idea, and get off for any personal responsibility for your choices.

From this day forward, eveything that happens to you is 100% your choice, your responsibility. Forge the life YOU want and accept responsibility for those choices. Stop making excuses, blaming others, obeying control.