you can't let the neighbor in the house any more.

Dad is gone, there's no need for her help any more.

The house is in probate and must be locked up, prepped for sale.

Letting her in the house is very dangerous. She's calculating and might start removing valuables or worse.

don't fix the car.

Contact a realtor and sell the house N. O. W.

Then sell the car.

Distribute money to siblings as fairly as possible.

Give a modest "thankyou" check to neighbor for her help (even though it was calculated) and end any relationship with her. Period.

what?

the whole letter is about HER flings and then at the last minute you throw in a quick reference to YOUR flings? And SHE'S all to blame?

what am I missing?

I think the posters here who rant that this is highly unprofessional and would not be tolerated elsewhere are sorely naive about the real world.

Bosses are never perfect. They're humans just like us and have issues and weaknesses. And SO do their bosses, they ones who would theoretically fire them for being slightly imperfect. Get a little more experience under your belt and you'll see the wide spectrum of folks who work and don't get fired for being less than perfect.

delate the emails and go on with life. If you don't like your job, sure, find another. But don't look for another job just because of the emails. If you did switch jobs just because of the emails, you'd be mighty disappointed to find out that there are a lot worse bosses than those who forward stupid emails.

There are a lot of otherwise reasonable and smart people who forward those emails. They might not even really believe them, but they forward them. Just cuz. A lot of otherwise smart people read their horoscpe every morning even though they don't necessarily really believe them. This is like that. Don't give it so much weight or meaning. Let it pass. Don't let it ruin a good job.

has jumped the shark

I read your whole letter, agreeing, thinking you saw LW as the needy one. It was only at the very end where you identified the LW's neighbor as the needy one comparable to your expereince.

Truth is, could be either one. Maybe LW's neighbor needed to get away from needy LW and just used the job change as a good excuse to shut things down.

But there weren't inseparable and that's part of the healing: LW admitting she exagerrated their closeness. They had coffee a few times a week cuz they lived next door. Just a situational convenience which ended when LW had to leave early for work.

and we all know we ain't talking about being passionate about bridge. We're talking about having a romatic relationshiip with someone other than your spouse.

at people who don't "get" what an emotional affair is or understand the hurt to the spouse. I find it surprising anyone whos been in a relationship would think that any intimate thing short of sex is OK.

Think of all the types of intimacy you share with a partner. Most is not physical.

And as someone else said, if you're giving time and energy to someone else, you're robbing it from your spouse and marriage and kids.

He's trying to dodge accountability for his choices by putting all the blame on you.

You all need to move forward and for you that's focusing on your new job, new social life and cutting contact with this highly manipulative person.

I doubt his WIFE has to go to networking events, so steer clear of events with more of a social focus, and concentrate on purely work related networking when required for your career. Stop with the freindly keeping in touch crap. Your mistake is over, move on. Don't email or talk, it's only going to have a negative impact on everyone's life and your career. Admit the mistake, nip it in the bud and more on to a more postive healthy life.

don't emial the wife, that's HIS concern.

yes, and people got in trouble buying McMansions when all they needed, much less could afford was a modest Cape Cod. Those people were living beyond their means, which is shallow and materialistic. I just can't believe the bean counters supported their foolishness.

And I, who goes without a lot that my neighbors have to live within my means, will end up paying for the greedy people's choices.

You seem to be pretty insightful about yourself, how you work, what influences have affected you, why you do the things you do.

You have more self-understanding than a lot of people, much less someone in their early 20s (guessing here). So you are WELL on your way to a happy peaceful grounded life. good for you

You'd rather keep the "wrong" sort of people out and feel superior to them criticizing their poor fitness.

How dare they try to improve themselves, albeit, not as perfectly as you. If they do improve themselves, who will you have to feel superior to?

jerk

focus that attention on your KIDS, lady.

End of discussion.

it should be that parents interests and hobbies, not their cleaning chores.

I learned reading from my mom and drawing from my dad. Housework was just what we did to maintian ourselves while we persue our intersts

that response from Hasbro makes me hate them MORE!

When girls chose noncleaning toys they're going agaist what they're supposed to do? are you flicking kidding me? What about teaching all our kids to be creative, curious, kind, and also teach them that we all have to clean up after ourselves!

It's not just that it's outdated gender roles, but that the girls toys are about CHORES and the boys' toys are about PLAY.

so not just are the activies sharply seperated, but all the boys get to PLAY while all the girls CLEAN up after them.

U-G-H