What do you want to do when you grow up? Seriously. You've thought of something, maybe grown out of that, on to something else. I wanted to be a ballerina, then a teacher, then an architect. You've thought about the future? Where do you see yourself? What are you doing? How can you work towards that goal? *IF* you really are mature, you should be thinking this way. How does Mr. Cool fit into your life plan?

Convince us you really ARE mature.

So I'm not supporting or condeming Mom's actions: just noting daughter's choices. Stop with the blaming need to say who is right. and just focus on daughter's choices. She can stay or go, but each comes with responsibilites and effects. That's what adults do: think about the reprecussions of choices and make informed choices.

Mom pays for room and board, she DOES have a say in what kid does, where she goes, when she gets home, who she is with.

If daughter wants freedom, she has to support herself. Those are the rules, we didn't make them up: they are called REAL LIFE.

Girl, you need to focus on making a future for yourself. You don't sound like a very mature 18 year old who has any idea of how she's going to become self sufficient, or create her life dreams.

GO. TO. SCHOOL.

long hair is in style for 40 somethings now (Housewifes of Orange County). Short hair was in style for 20-somethings 20 years ago (punk rock)

I think you should be focusing on your CURRENT wife's hairdo!

She was biting her nails cuz you were nagging her.

Now her new husband doesn't boss her around, so she feels relaxed instead of stressing, so she doesn't bite her nails and they are long and beautiful.

Maybe current hubby didn't ask her to style her hair to suit him. She never did it when you told her to cuz you were bossing her around. Now she's free to choose and she chose to do it on her own terms. Not her hubby. Her own terms.

But someone stole that jewelry and THAT is both evil and illegal. the stolen jewelry took this from a typical teenager girl with lots of drama to larcony.

You'd be 100% right Cheeky, if he hadn't ended the last email with "Love." You'd have been right if he ended with "let's be freinds," but when he tried to swing it back to being together again after the double-email, he WAS misleading.

It helped me to read it once in a magazine. it's very common among newly divorced guys. Push me, pull you. He's casual until you're casual, then he's serious. The next step is if you relent and get serious, he'll back away quickly, run like the wind as if you were being pushy.

When I read they dynamic explained, it made so much sense, I hope I can remember it well. It has to do with him wanting to FEEL like he's in a relationship, but NOT having the nerve to actually BE in one, so you're put through the constant back and forth. He's into the fantasy of a relationship, but once you respond he freaks, cuz he doesn't want it to actually be real, so he runs and blames you for being pushy.

The email was horrendous. Simply horrendous. That in and of itself is enough to break off all future contact. As if the email let him off all obligations to be fair and honest. "well I DID email you!!!" Please find a human being.

Ya dodged a bullet girl. Good for you for maintianing so much grace.

But has someone make clear that MJ is never coming back to the US for fear of being charged with more child molestation? He's the Roman Polanski of our generation (although he makes Roman Polanski look like a saint).

My father-in-law just died and it has been a long winter and spring.

I didn't know you were from VA! Will you be visting Carytown?

She never said that. She in fact, mentions qualities she admires her husband for, and admits she feels powerless and pathetic. What's 'off', is her perception. She's been brainwashed by her father and husband to see herself as powerless, hopeless, unable to do anything. She needs to break free of that brainwashing and grow her self -power.

because it's predicated on the death being of old age, and the life before that being based on honor and respect. If the threat of death is by the husband's hand, that old myth is negated.

The new paridigm is: RESPECT, HONOR, FAITHFULNESS and KINDNESS. and if anyone breaks it, the contract is null and no one is required to honor it. SAVE YOURSELF. No being guilted into staying in a dangerous abusive relationship because of some old prose an old controlling man wrote thousands of years ago. The one who is abusive breaks that contract, not the one who bravely leaves. It's already broken, nothing to save except yourself and your child.

You question if LW's stress led to her being fired because YOU always did great at your jobs. I can tell you firsthand deprssion CAN seriously affect your job performance. HOWEVER, LW wroter that her husband refused to let her finish projects I had to do at night that were due in the morning. That's why she was fired he forbade her to finish her assignments.

You're lucky hutman, you've never had to know a situation like this. As a volunteer in an abused women's shetler, I can tell you her letter rings QUITE TRUE. Please don't add to the list of people who seem to get off on belittling LW, she has had enough of those her entire life.

National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

You will learn to take control of your own life.

Get away from your abusive husband, yes; but don't wait for your psychologically controlling father to help.

BE YOUR OWN ADVOCATE, that is the only way you will survive.