the night before I got married my husband's brothers took him out to a strip club. I didn't care, I knew it was a ritual, a one-time chance.

I had a night indulgent night at home, what Oprah calls a party for one and went to bed. When he got home, he said they decided to go play pool instead cuz they all admitted they'd rather do that. re the strip club they said: lets not and say we did.

ho hom. Then our married life started and I never thought of it again. I sure didn't worry about him, his brothers, or any single women they encountered along the way. If he can't say no to single women, he'd've been a gonner old ago.

but the woman is question is NOT "poaching" on wifie's man. She's merely going to a party as the groom's best freind!

It's wife's and your immediate assumption that any single woman in the same room at the party is going to dig her fingernails into "your man" that is so so so so frightening and wrong, and telling.

That's the big worry here: that wives like LW think any woman in the room with her husband is a "poacher". So she hates all his single coworkers, is witchy to them and spreads rumors about them. And it's all really about her own self-hate.

so what?

that makes no difference in the fact that LW should trust her husband. Trust is based on the person you invest that trust in, not the people he's around. If the trust is that flexible based on who he encounters, it's not real.

If the breakup was "mutually agreed upon" how is it all your brother's fault? Doesn't the woman have some say in her own destiny? She chose to move on. So that was her preference.

Why the histronics? You haven't even bothered to visit this baby, so why are you inserting yourself into the middle of it? A little weird.

an Billy Crudup who left pregnant Mary-Oouise Parker while she was pregnant for Claine Danies.

Excuse me, but that makes me angry, for Cary to imply that whether or not this man cheats on his wife depends on LUCK! No, it depends on husband's FREE WILL and CHOICES. He has all the control over what happens, there is no luck involved! It angers me that Cary's statement encourages some cheating spouse's rationalization that they couldn't help themselves. Bull, we all can help ourselves, we have full control over our choices and actions. Accept responsibility for your actions and choices and don't try to avoid accountability by claiming you can't help yourself and it's all up to luck. Decide what you want LW ( to be single or to be married to your wife), and then act accordingly.

I also resent CAry's implication that kissing a woman other than your wife is only bad cuz it may lead to sex. NO! Kissing a women other than your wife is WRONG in and of itself!

Go get some couples counseling, see what comes out and fix this. But stop (emotional) cheating on your wife. You may not have had sex yet, but you're already cheating by having intimate sexual acts with another woman.

talk very briefly to all your kids beforehand about your hopes for their lives (first college, then job, travel, then family).

Briefly state that you think marrying early is very limiting, but find a way to say it without insulting your neice.

Trust you've raised your kids well.

Don't start a family rift

yes, but their principles are exclusionary.

Presumably LW's are not and s/he believes shunning people because they have different beliefs is wrong.

NO, you can't stopp the wedding, nor would it be anyhwere near your right. She 's not your daughter and you have to live your priciples of accepting people come in differnt shapes, sizes, colors and religious beliefs and we all have the right to practice those ebeliefs even if others don't agree with them.

you like reading? join a reading club that meets once a month. You'll meet people with similar interests, only be obligated to see them once a month, but be free to schedule coffee, movies, etc, with them any other time.

You're in control and you can find a good balance of quiet unstructured private recharging with some social people time.

Other activity ideas: hiking club, movie club, dancing class, pottery class, glee club, investors club...

oh bullcrappie!

My dog came from the pound (mostly cuz I'm thrifty), but getting a purebred dog is FINE if that's what you want!

We still live in a nation of individual rights and I will defend people's rights to purebred dogs and whatever else they want even if it conflicts with my own views!

PETA and all the rest of the controlling creeps on both ends of the spectrum: butt out. Shut up. MYBO.

I always adopted alley cats whose moms adopted them and I never had a cat do any of that more than once! It is NOT considered normal cat behavior to misbehave.

ohe we understand the feeling and the motivation.

Just not the action.

Why didn't HE sleep on the couch? You've let them abuse you too long. Is your name on the lease? If so, tell them to leave. If not, you're screwed.

I hope someone in the state environment office checks to make sure it's legal and safe for the groundwater to pour toxic chemican disinfectants on the grass.

Why not just wait a few days for the next rain to filter the natural product down rather than put toxic chemicals into the groundwater

the Dahli Lama eats meat. I read it in one of his books. He said his doctor told him to do it for his health and he does. He respects the sacrafice the animal made for his health, but does eat meat.

that says it all. You need to go get some therapy to fix these immature jealously problems.