Your partner is disrespecting you in public, demeaning you even though he knows it's disrespectful, and you're trying to figure out how to change YOUR feelings so you don't mind being disrespected any more?

You do know that abused women always think they deserved their abuse. They try so hard to change so their mates don't hit them any more.

Stop comproimising your right to basic respect. And stop thinking YOU"RE doing something wrong: HE IS. And please, for the love of god, stop thinking YOU should change so you can accept his mistreatment.

There is a huge difference between thought and behavior. Think lustful thoughts about other people, sure, believe it or not we women do too! But do not act on them. And remember acting on then isn't only sex, it includes oogling. No one is saying men and women can't have thoughts, of course we all do! But we who respect our partners don't act on them, we keep it inside. So, stop with the red herring cry against thought police, no one's saying he can't think. He just needs to treat his woman with respect.

of couse he can help it. We all have free will to do what we want. We make choices and take deliberate actions.

He CAN help it, he simply chooses to do it even though it bothers you. He claims he can't help it and you chose to buy into the delusion rather than admit your husband cares more about oogling other women than respecting his wife. Observing and appreciating are not the same as oogling. We can all observe and appreciate, but should draw the line at noticible oogling if it disrespects our partners

of course it doesn't. Study after study consistantly shows that by far the predominant emotion after an abortion is not regret, but relief.

The shampoo placenta is derived from animal placenta.

Eating one's own is just sad.

how do the mountainous Nepalese know what a conch shell looks like?

well, obviously no one said that.

I said, don't oogle. Don't drool. Don't turn your head, don't widen your eyes, don't let your eyes pop out while the horns blare like in the cartoons. Don't be obvious, don't be disrespectful.

Sure, look. We girls look too, but subtly. But we make sure while we're in public everyone knows who is our man and that we respect him.

yeah, this is relationships in the blog age. GF knows her ex has a blog and has written about her, and that you know how to use the internet.

At some point, it would be natural to say, in response to something she says: "yah, I saw X's blog." That should be no surprise that people see each other's blogs, that is the point, right?

*I* wouldn't want to bleed my private life all over the net for others to read, but then, I'm over 40. She may not like her ex blogging about her, but she already knows she has no control over it, and she probably doesn't have the same view of it as I do. It's part of life in this age to her.

I'm starting to think Cary is in opposite world these days. His answer is in the extreme wrong tone as a way of showing you how rediculous that stance would be.

So in this case, being REALLY dramtic would be wrong. Cary writes a very dramatic speech to show how rediculaous it is and to show you how this is not really a big deal. Making a big deal about it would be wrong.

(((LW)))

You mean well, you sound like a good son. I'm sorry for your loss.

It's probably too late to figure out how to get there before she goes, as you said, so maybe you can use this experience to become a better person.

Figure out why you coulnd't figure out how to get down there to see your sick MOM for the last 7 years and you'll grow and be a better person.

I think it's like a lot of us, you coulnd't bear seeing your mother's decline, so you stayed away and always had real economic and life situations as excuses.

maybe next time something like this happens, you'll see the pattern, learn from your past, and be able to step up to the plate and do the horribly difficult thing.

I know when my Dad was dying, I didn't really face facts and sorts lived in denial for a while. It's horrible to see one's parent sick and helpless, I don't want to see that and neither do you. but sadly, often in this life we have to do things like that even if it's sad. good luck.

This guy has had some economic issues (like all of us), but he is not in the poverty class. He's well educated, spent his money on moving. He had the money, but chose to spend it moving across country again. As he said: "I have not had the money, nor the time WHEN I HAD THE MONEY." (emphasis added.)

He HAD the money, but chose NOT to go. He made a choice. He could have gone, but chose California or Chicago over seeing his mom. He didn't HAVE TIME to visit his dying Mom. This isn't a story about poverty in american (which should be considered), but about denial, fear, hopelessness. Poverty is an important issue, but not what kept this guy away from his mom.

Why only parents? We all make choices and if I want to spend my free time on something important to me, why can't I get a flex schedule even if I don't have kids? I would protest offering that flexibilty for people who chose kids, but NOT to childless workers who want to spend their time volunteering at the Red Cross, UNFAIR.

THIS IS all that needs to be said. thanx afro goddess