Generally speaking, all the "needs" people cite for buying SUVs would be better served by a Minivan. For all their imposing stance, SUVs rarely offer the capacious interior they should for their size. And the minivan's sliding doors should be a dream come true for anyone schlepping several kids or passengers with limited mobility. You cannot beat the flexibility of the seat arrangements, or the max cargo space. Many minivans have the muscle to tow. They get better gas mileage than SUVs and are just as safe and well-appointed these days. In fact, I can't figure why manufacturers haven't been offering hybrid minivans. It's a perfect fit: a new level of efficiency for a vehicle that's all about economy and utility.

Perhaps it's because people like yourself aren't buying enough of them to make it worthwhile. The minivan screams "settled down breeder" in a way people just can't bring themselves to confess. Not with the SUV's shiny appeal as an urban reconnaissance tank. A tank you "need." You fell for it. You made one of the biggest purchases of all without using your head. You protest. You're not a chubby American breeder, willing to slash the rain forest to make yourself feel a little younger and look a little cooler. Oh no. It's ridiculous to take two cars on those once-a-week occasions you need to shuttle 5 children. You really need that SUV. You go mountain biking 3 times a year! Well, not this year, things have been busy with the kids and all... and a roof rack is too much hassle. Your bad back, and all...

Crossovers, like Minivans, are built like cars. The strength is in the cage frame, not two long I-beams spanning the wheelbase. For all the world, a crossover is a minivan. It just lacks the sliding doors. And the interior space. And the fuel economy (after all, they just have to be a little better than SUVs to get their buyers to feel warm and fuzzy). So congratulations. You bought a lie. If you weren't so concerned about your receding hairline and the spare tire around your waist, you might have had the wits to choose the wheels that were right for you. But hey! Give yourself a pat on the back. At least it gets better mileage than your ancient, hulking Volvo. Good job! Progress... and that's all any reasonable person could be asked, right?