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Michael Harold

Published Letters: 498
Editor's Choice: 3

Monday, July 9, 2007 10:11 AM

Thank goodness there weren't any liberals at Thermopylae

Otherwise, we wouldn't even have Western civilization.

Oh, wait!

The fierce resistance of the Spartan-led army (anarcho-syndicalists) offered Athens (liberal to the core) the invaluable time to prepare for a decisive naval battle that would come to determine the outcome of the war. The subsequent Greek victory at the Battle of Salamis left much of the Persian Empire's navy destroyed and Xerxes (Daddy's Boy if there ever was one) was forced to retreat back to Asia, leaving his army in Greece under Mardonius (evil advisor, see Cheney), who was to meet the Greeks in battle one last time. The Spartans assembled at full strength and led a pan-Greek army (United Nations -- ok, city states) that defeated the Persians decisively at the Battle of Plataea, ending the Greco-Persian War and with it the expansion of the Persian Empire into Europe.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Thermopylae

Yea for Western civilization!

According to history, it was the dirty liberals who saved Western civilization.

And we all know what a bunch of elitist, pseudo-intellectual sexually degenerate sissy boys those Athenians were.

Monday, July 9, 2007 10:30 AM

Thanks, Paul. You are SO right! One more thing re: Liberals save civilization!

Dismissing the rest of the army, King Leonidas stayed behind with 300 Spartans and 700 Thespian volunteers.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Battle_of_Thermopylae

The Thespian volunteers were from Thespia, for crying out loud. In Thespia, the population worshiped Eros and the Muses. So, not only were they liberals, they were the worst kind of liberals. They were artists.

Liberal artists saved Western civilization!

And also what Paul said!

Monday, July 9, 2007 03:16 PM

Back on topic (then again, maybe not): There's an analogy in here somewhere

From The Princess Bride:

Man in Black: All right. Where is the poison? The battle of wits has begun. It ends when you decide and we both drink, and find out who is right... and who is dead.

Vizzini: But it's so simple. All I have to do is divine from what I know of you: are you the sort of man who would put the poison into his own goblet or his enemy's? Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: You've made your decision then?

Vizzini: Not remotely. Because iocane comes from Australia, as everyone knows, and Australia is entirely peopled with criminals, and criminals are used to having people not trust them, as you are not trusted by me, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you.

Man in Black: Truly, you have a dizzying intellect.

Vizzini: Wait til I get going! Now, where was I?

Man in Black: Australia.

Vizzini: Yes, Australia. And you must have suspected I would have known the powder's origin, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: You're just stalling now.

Vizzini: You'd like to think that, wouldn't you? You've beaten my giant, which means you're exceptionally strong, so you could've put the poison in your own goblet, trusting on your strength to save you, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But, you've also bested my Spaniard, which means you must have studied, and in studying you must have learned that man is mortal, so you would have put the poison as far from yourself as possible, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me.

Man in Black: You're trying to trick me into giving away something. It won't work.

Vizzini: IT HAS WORKED! YOU'VE GIVEN EVERYTHING AWAY! I KNOW WHERE THE POISON IS!

Man in Black: Then make your choice.

Vizzini: I will, and I choose - What in the world can that be?

Vizzini: [Vizzini gestures up and away from the table. Roberts looks. Vizzini swaps the goblets]

Man in Black: What? Where? I don't see anything.

Vizzini: Well, I- I could have sworn I saw something. No matter.First, let's drink. Me from my glass, and you from yours.

Man in Black, Vizzini: [they drink ]

Man in Black: You guessed wrong.

Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong! That's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha ha! You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never get involved in a land war in Asia, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Ha ha ha...

Vizzini: [Vizzini stops suddenly, and falls dead to the right]

Buttercup: And to think, all that time it was your cup that was poisoned.

Man in Black: They were both poisoned. I spent the last few years building up an immunity to iocane powder.

Monday, July 9, 2007 06:02 PM

@William Timberman - a question

William,

Who are you? You are a very interesting person. Do you have a web page? A bio?

More than a voice of reason, you argue your case (in nearly every instance) in a manner that I find to be scrupulous, logically consistent and downright eloquent.

There are a number of other people here whose writing and thinking I also admire. They tend to have sources and web links that allow me to explore their backgrounds and ideas in some detail.

Just curious.

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