My husband's family was quietly scandalized that I kept my own name. For a couple years I would overhear them whisper an explanation to other friends and family, as if it was an embarassing medical condition. I don't think they were thrilled when our second son was given my last name.

I tell them that my younger sister hated, hated, hated growing up under my shadow. She spent most of school rebelling against what the teachers expected of "Kristi's sister". She would have been happy to have a surname different from mine!

Time will tell how this arrangement works out. The boys do not share a surname with each other, nor with any cousins (so far). I don't think it will have any effect on their closeness as family.

I know of several men and women who "mommy-tracked", at least for a while. People will gravitate toward the data that reinforces their existing worldview - the Times does this by highlighting anecdotes from women "opting out" and ignoring the men.

The men's story, the one you're not hearing, often arises from a setback at work. Sometimes it's a layoff or the termination of a project, sometimes burnout. These resourceful young men take the opportunity to re-evaluate their priorities and often take some time off to spend with their young children.

My husband and I are grateful to the feminist revolution and the value it places on both parents contributing to their children's lives. Thirty years ago, this conversation between two professional men would have been unthinkable:

Interviewer: I see you've been unemployed for the past year.

Applicant: Well, after my company downsized, I decided to be a stay-at-home dad for a while with my daughter. She's eighteen months old now and I loved being able to spend that time with her.

Interviewer: I did the same thing when my son was about three.

Next time you read an article about opt-out women, shoot back a letter to the editor and ask them for the other half of the story.

For the last four elections, I have worked in the polls for California. Feeling edgy about "black box voting" and rumors of suppression, I signed up for a firsthand view of the process. I take a vacation day off work, pay for daycare, and work a 13-hour day for $110 - not a rational choice by any means. Sometimes you do irrational things for the people - or the country - you love.

I urge Salon readers in these six states to look up "Registrar of Voters" on Google and volunteer. Don't wring your hands and worry about it, do something instead.

Learn the system from the inside, know the rules, and help people vote.

In 2004, I signed in a new voter who had registered by mail and therefore needed to present ID. She had strong accent, a California ID, and her newly-framed certificate of naturalized citizenship. Her small children were there to watch as she voted for the first time. The poll workers shook her hand and welcomed her. I was misty-eyed, so proud of the America I saw that day. That is the America I stand for, the one that welcomes all its citizens to participate in our best traditions.

Call the registrar of voters and join the welcoming committee. Fair-minded and knowledgeable people are needed to help all Americans vote.

I'd suggest making arrangements with some Greenbelt and other anti-sprawl folks to guest-blog on the topic. After each day's ride, call in and chat with the writer du jour, and let them do the hard work of writing and researching. They can give us updates on your ride and fill in with their special area of expertise.

I've been in the Bay Area for a number of years, so Sprawl is a topic near and dear to my heart. In my town they are working to change the ugly mini-mall-car-dealership sprawl of El Camino Real into something closer to a real city: http://www.mv-voice.com/story.php?story_id=2830.

As you travel around the bay I'm sure there are many such stories: neighborhoods created through infill, open space preserved, green buildings, and other reasons to hope. I look forward to having you share them with us.

We had a "baby boom" at my office, which made it easy to acquire a Lactation Room (empty office). "Just one person" argument didn't work when there were so many new mothers around - and even those that didn't pump at least were there to add their voices.

"Easy" is a relative term: we got the room easily enough, but had to paper over the window until Facilities could get some blinds. We blocked the door with an extra chair until they could add a door lock. The nighttime maintenance contractors sometimes locked us out, forcing an emergency call in the morning. In an ironic twist, the clueless "work-life balance" coordinator tried to block-schedule the room for massages one day a week!

Eventually though, our crew of software-development parents had a refrigerator, computer, and privacy. If it's not working out at first, keep trying. Human Resources can prod facilities to make it happen. They can also prod your management and remind them about the benefits of human milk - fewer sick days are a good trade for those 15 minute breaks.

Since they have gone to the trouble of identifying my BBC-steeped demographic and our fondness for androgynous musicians in black eyeliner, you think they'd clue into better distribution. This same demographic bought most of the songs two times or more - on tape or LP in the early 80's, replaced with CD later on, and perhaps even later with a download.

If they did it right, I'd be able to go to iTunes, uncheck the songs I already own, and download the rest at a reasonable package price.

The music blogs are already posting their suggestions for "missing tracks", fans of the genre should look around online to discover more music than they will ever find in an amusing phone-booth package.