Letters to the Editor
haaaley
Published Letters: 97 Editor's Choice: 8
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Why cut off a potential market?
[Read the article: Finally, women can pay for sex too!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I hope that Fleiss doesn't limit herself to cut men. Many women, yours truly included prefer uncut. C'mon, how can a stud farm operate without the stallions?
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Why sneak around?
[Read the article: I'm married with kids -- and in love with a prostitute]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It's obvious that Lost wants to keep seeing the prostitute. Why shouldn't he? I say he do just as his urges compel him, but tell the wife -- mainly because the best relationships are built on at least somewhat equal footing. A bare minimum of decency requires that he tell his wife what he's been doing, apologize for not including her in the decisionmaking process, explain what the experience gives him, and give his wife the opportunity to likewise indulge her own whims.
She might just want to find some side action of her own. It would be only fair that every penny he spends on the prostitute should be matched in a fund exclusively for the wife's pleasure. If there are any household duties that would be neglected as a result of having both heads of the household on a Crusade for Pleasure, appropriate help should be hired.
I agree with Matthew Wilder that Lost should have pleasure in his life. Our time on this planet is too short to spend suffering in silence. However, the difference between Lost's situation and the "many cultures in the world ... for whom that double arrangement would constitute nothing shocking" is that Lost has made no disclosure to the wife, which means that THERE IS NO ARRANGEMENT. I suggest that Lost rectify that by making an arrangement.
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Yaaaaawn...
[Read the article: A man's right to choose, take five]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This little controversy bores me. OK, so men don't have the upper hand as regards this particular issue, at this particular moment in history, in this particular country. And yes, a wealthy man may scream bloody murder when three cents, which are rightfully his, are wrongfully wrested from his trembling grasp.
Cry me a river.
A study published in the March 2005 edition of the American Journal of Public Health found that homicide was a leading cause of death among pregnant women in the United States between 1991 and 1999. A 2001 study published by the Journal of the American Medical Association concluded that 20 percent of Maryland women who died during pregnancy were murdered. Researchers found the same trend in New York from 1987-1991 and in the Chicago area from 1986-1989. According to the Centers for Disease Control, approximately 324,000 preganant women are hurt by an intimate partner or former partner each year.
A woman risks far more than a man when she procreates; she takes her life into her hands. So forgive me if I dismiss Mr. Conley's concerns as negligible in comparison.
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It's the fathers leaving that's the problem.
[Read the article: At home with David Brooks]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Every day, I see highly educated, professional career men leave their children with bored and resentful caregivers. How can a father do that to his children?
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Look within, LW.
[Read the article: The silent treatment]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]It's not clear why the LW hates the BIL so violently, and I believe that this is where the solution to this problem lies.
Instead of finding out as much as she can about the BIL, I would recommend that she ask some detailed questions about herself. For instance, why does the silent treatment anger her so? Does she always feel such strong hatred toward people who disregard her? Does she have a tendency to assume that being ignored equals being disapproved of? Has she dated men who have treated her coldly, causing her emotional pain? Is she the type of person who cannot be content in a large group if she knows that one person in that group doesn't particularly care for her? Does she doubt her self-worth when treated poorly? Does the BIL make hurtful comments or is it just his silent demeanor which could be interpreted as disapproving? For instance, why does the BIL's method of conveying birthday wishes to his brother anger the LW so much? Has the BIL hurt the fiance deeply enough that the LW has adopted some strong feelings of hatred toward the BIL, on behalf of her fiance? Is the LW able to separate her problems from her fiance's?
I could imagine dealing with the problem by diffusing tension, say, by adopting a nickname for the BIL. Silent Bob, perhaps. If Silent Bob is the only one in the car not talking, and everyone else is interacting normally, why can't Bob just be ignored? Or ridiculed? ("Oh, no... I think the cat got Bob's tongue again. FLUFFY, get out here!")
Frankly, this is a life skill that the LW could benefit from developing. Would she react so strongly -- that is, quietly seethe -- in response to a pompous jackass at a snooty party who's talking down to her? Or could she figure out a way to poke fun and laugh it up with her friends?
Ultimately, I can't imagine that Cary would be receiving this letter from a person who assumes that everyone likes her until proven otherwise. The LW sounds like a wonderful person who cares deeply about her family and friends, but might be giving too much credence to what an inarticulate boob *might* be thinking. But maybe the way toward the LW's acceptance and happiness is the realization that this is Silent Bob's problem, that she doesn't need his approval, and that everyone (including the LW) is better off without his participation.