Letters to the Editor
Published Letters: 74
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@AKA Smith
[Read the article: Strangers on a train ... under arrest?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]You seem to think I have issued some ultimatum to men. Quite the contrary. My opinion was directed to women and I was drawing upon my personal experience as an illustration of a type of stare that can indicate dangerousness in certain men.
Really? Let me remind you what you originally wrote:
When men stopping raping, then women will be able to afford to be more open to men in most encounters. Until then, that won't happen.
I doesn't matter who you you think that was directed towards, it is a textbook example of an ultimatum (I won't do X, until you do Y) which places all of the burden on men to do the impossible (rid the world of rapists) before you will even consider adjusting your own behavior. Needless to say, that is never going to happen and you know it. It is a silly fantasy that bears no resemblance to how the world actually works. And thank god for that.
In addition, I have read several books on facial expression and body language, as well as -- having been a victim advocate -- I was privy to the experiences of female victims who had reason to regret not being more careful. I am merely urging women to trust their instincts. That is what the book, The Gift of Fear is largely about. The author's central thesis is that we humans, both men and women, possess instincts that will help us to avoid being victims of crime.
That's fantastic. But it still doesn't explain how you justify arresting someone who hasn't committed a crime. Please explain.
If you are not a criminal, I find it rather difficult to understand your very obvious hostility to me.
I'm not hostile toward you -- just the nonsense you write.
Do you make a habit of staring aggressively at women?
What if I did? Should I be put in jail? If so, why?
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@tina schrier
[Read the article: Strangers on a train ... under arrest?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Thanks for the compliment.
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@AKA Smith
[Read the article: Strangers on a train ... under arrest?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]OK, it sounds like we agree that someone shouldn't be arrested for staring at a stranger. Sorry if I misrepresented your argument.
But my first point still stands. An ultimatum is an ultimatum regardless of whether or not you have the power to enforce it. That fact that you (like most people who issue such demands) do not have this power just means that your particular ultimatum isn't worth taking seriously. Perhaps that's why everyone else ignored it.
On the other hand, your original statement implied that your ultimatum is already being enforced, with or without your help.
When men stopping raping, then women will be able to afford to be more open to men in most encounters. Until then, that won't happen.
According to you, this is already how the world works. Women aren't "open" to men because the world is full of rapists, and that won't change until they all go away.
Maybe that's not what you meant. Maybe you were only referring to yourself, but that's not how it reads. It looks to me like you are explaining why women in general behave a certain way and what men need to do to change the situation. Am I crazy to think that?
My point is that this reality does not exist. Women in general DO NOT behave this way. There are a multitude of women who ARE open to men despite the fact that there are still rapists in every town. So any man who believes it is necessary to take your demands seriously in order to get what he wants is a fool.
And just to be perfectly clear, I agree that stalking and harassment are serious crimes that should be prosecuted to the full extent of the law. I just don't think staring at a stranger in a public place (without any other action) falls under those categories.
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Marriage kills sex
[Read the article: He's just not that into (sex with) you]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I know several men who are over 50 with sex drives that could easily keep pace with the average horny teenager. The one thing they have in common: none of them are married or are in long-term relationships. It seems pretty clear to me. Fresh meat keeps sex exciting, no matter how old you are.
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The Perfect Solution: Don't Get Married
[Read the article: The monster snoring on the Serta]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Seriously guys, marriage is nothing but a huge-risks, no-benefits proposition for men in this country. Half the marriages end in divorce and a significant portion of those that stay together are miserable. You'd have to be insane to gamble half your assets on those kinds of odds -- and for what?
Think about it, Brightstar. Your relationship is never going to be better than it is right now. If she is already making unreasonable demands, imagine how it will be after you've signed on the dotted line. Don't put yourself in the same box as the desperate husbands in this article. Life's too short to waste on prostitutes, secret affairs and internet porn because your wife won't give you a blowjob.
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Who is the bigger Asshat?
[Read the article: Teen Alex Phillips puts girlfriend's nude shots on MySpace: Child porn?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]This loser who posted the pictures of his girlfriend... or the girl who thought he was so awesome she sent him the pictures in the first place.
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Wall Street Journal Lite
[Read the article: Putting "women" in the WSJ]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Kristinab wrote:
[I]t's hard to believe that men don't have to balance work and parenthbood, or that men don't have baby pictures that they may consider sending to coworkers.
This is probably true. But the more important question is how many men really want to read articles about these topics when they buy their copy of the Wall Street Journal every morning? I've already informed the paper that I will not be renewing my subscription because of its increasing number of fluff "lifestyle" pieces and decreasing quantity and quality of hard news -- a transparent attempt to gain more female readers. (Same thing goes for my Salon subscription.) I don't know many people (certainly no men) who are interested in the WSJ's suggestions for where to find the best Bed & Breakfasts. If this is direction the paper wants to take, they'll have to do it without my money.