Why would a smart, accomplished, focused woman always need to be in a relationship? and always longing for the ex?

Something's strange here, and I don't think it has anything to do with the boyfriends.

We need to think of a name for this glorious, rising new genre (or maybe someone already has?).

Today alone in the Times style section there are two stories very similar to Williams': one, an article about private-school parents who are horrified to find they must suddenly reconsider those often steep tuitions; the second, a description of the new book "Spoiled," a collection of essays by privileged people who feel financially inadequate.

Given that we are seeing a steady stream of this material, we really should decide on something to call it.

Shopping for paired friends, especially when you're actively judging their clothes, mannerisms, body parts, and cultural references, may be a self-defeating prospect. What if all those other folks are friend-shopping too, but you don't meet their checklist's criteria within the first 10 minutes either?

Worth noting that the letter writer apparently has three children aged six or under. Which means that at least two and possibly all three of them are probably home with her 90% of the time.

As any parent can attest, young children are glorious, but they are also very, very draining. Three young children could be very, very, very, very, very, very draining.

Most of the parents I know (myself included) had at least one period when their children were young that all seemed hopeless. Perhaps it was post-partum depression, perhaps it was just the day-in/day-out unrelentingness of it all.

But kids will get older and more independent. And in that way, the LW's life really will change. Other issues will remain, but perhaps the LW's needs won't have to compete so fiercely with her reality.

Here's an idea: Get a different job, or seek a different position. One that requires you to move or do a lot of traveling.

If you're clever, your work schedule might coincide nicely with those times when the kids are at home.

That's the only way I can imagine you being out of the house a great deal of the time without seriously damaging your relationship with your husband, your relationship (such as it is) with the kids, and your husband's relationship with his kids.