Let's not worry about who is "nuts." We all have different standards for sexual behaviour. In my personal world, a threesome is really rather mundane, not near the edge of what I would consider relatively normal at all. For some people virginity might be an issue. The real issue is not the letter writer's sexual history. That's the trigger here, but it isn't the most important issue.

The big issue here is that the LW's boyfriend is treating her badly. For some reason, he is using this as a weapon to emotionally traumatize the LW. If he won't go to couples counselling, the LW has no reasonable choice other than to leave.

It's going to hurt, be sad, a huge loss. However, sticking around in a relationship that has become emotionally abusive and where there is no reasonable hope that it is going to get better is a mistake. It sounds like the relationship has crossed into that emotionally abusive territory.

If the LW's BF would engage in couples counselling then perhaps there might be some hope. As most couples counsellors know, by the time a couple walks in the door the prospects for the relationship aren't great. The LW should be aware that even if couples counselling were a possibility, it probably wouldn't be a quick 5-session fix.

To the LW: Nobody has the right to consistently treat you badly and shame you. As I read your letter, I'm angry on your behalf.

My response to this has been to simply stop flying. I used to travel by air quite regularly, but at this point I haven't been on an airplane for about three years. It has simply become too much trouble.

I realise that this isn't an option for everyone.

It's a basic thing about people. We're very uncomfortable with the fact that we're impotent, and want our authority figures to be able to address issues. People in authority must be seen to be doing something about a problem. Statistically, flying is very safe, and faux-security measures do little or nothing to make it any safer. However, we can feel more secure because somebody is doing something.

I expect we'll continue to see new security measures in response to "threats", real or not, reported in the media. Perhaps the absurdity will stop when TSA requires us to have no carry on luggage, no clothes, and fly naked.

More seriously, the security measures don't appear to be more significantly affecting how many people actually fly. As long as that is the case, I expect the current trend to continue.