"But how many other mass-market publications are making sure women get that kind of personally/politically useful info in the first place?"

Um, the New York Times with this great article that came out before the Glamour piece?

http://www.nytimes.com/2006/05/07/magazine/07contraception.html?ex=1304654400&en=fd92772f01a5c709&ei=5088&partner=rssnyt&emc=rss

Do you mean mass-market publications with a panoply of stupid beauty and diet tips?

I don't entirely agree with the multiple posters who have written that if someone has had a medical procedure, it should be kept private no matter what.

What if it's a genetic condition - um, cancer, heart disease, diabetes - and tends to run in your family? I would imagine your child needs to know about it, because chances are they're at risk as well.

I don't understand all the heated villainizing of the LW. He doesn't strike me as an evil, nefarious figure wanting to tarnish his ex-wife's reputation. Geez people, lighten up. Also, calling other writers "moralizing harpies" only fans the flames further. We're all adults here, so let's be civil, ok? Keep in mind the LW wrote to Cary first before doing anything. I think he's just a concerned parent who finds himself, for the first time, living with his daughter every day, and a little confused about the best way to educate her about sex.

LW: Ask your daughter if she has any questions about sex or birth control and if she does, take her to Planned Parenthood. Let her know that she can come to you for help whenever she needs to. She doesn't need overdramatic cautionary tales that seem like they're lifted from an after school special, but just frank talk and good information.

Good luck to you.

Nowhere in my letter did I say there was a legal obligation to disclose medical conditions that could seriously affect one's child(ren). Do I believe there should be a moral/ethical obligation to do so? Yes, absolutely.

And as LeCastor has pointed out, the legal right to protect one's privacy with regard to medical concerns isn't set in stone.

Normally, I don't go for the Times' cheesy marriage pieces which inevitably end up on their most e-mailed articles list, but this one was actually decent. It's too bad the LW and her husband didn't figure out what they wanted before this mess happened. I'll echo other posters who have said there were serious problems with communications between the LW and her husband. The ones in bold make particular sense in this case:

Questions Couples Should Ask (Or Wish They Had) Before Marrying

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

http://www.nytimes.com/2007/07/14/business/14money.html?em&ex=1184731200&en=e624e77e15eeafaa&ei=5087%0A

http://www.salon.com/mwt/feature/2007/05/21/mead_weddings/

I say this as a young single woman who refuses to borrow anything from her parents and doesn't plan on having a wedding if I marry.

I'm not saying that this woman should pursue a relationship with her stepson, the most important reason being their existing relationship and NOT the age difference.

---Um, the age difference counts too, since he's a minor.

But there are a lot worse things in the world that could happen.

---Sure, like firebombing if you want extreme examples. But I think in terms in having your trust completely violated, your wife screwing your son ranks pretty high up there.