My husband and I both bring home paychecks. That money goes into a joint acct and several joint investment/retirement accts. Then we have an automatic transfer that moves our bi-monthly "allowances" to our individual accts. What we do with that money is our own business. We have one joint debit/credit card and all the rest are individual cards. The rule is that we do not carry balances on any card unless there is a specific reason. For example, when we had our kitchen renovated I got a 0% interest Home Depot card and all the work and materials went on it and we paid it off when the work was completed. All large (>$100) family purchases are agreed upon before hand unless it's an emergency. Only household bills/investments are paid out of our joint account. Vacations or really large purchases are put on the individual card that has the best rewards for what we are buying and then paid off from our joint acct. We pull our credit reports quarterly and compare(we are just a tad competitive about this). "Date nights" are alternated each weekend.

I have never reviewed my husband's personal acct spending. I know how to, I know where the accounts are etc, but I have no interest in looking. He feels the same. I'm pretty sure that he spends more on clothes, his office is business attire only while mine has relaxed into business casual. Men's suits are expensive and he has good taste. Granted men suits last a while and don't go out of style as fast as women's suits do. Same with men's shoes vs women's shoes. My husband is a lot more "name brand" oriented than I am. He only buys major labels, I like to hunt for deals and don't care about labels. Then again he can pick out the same pair of Ralph Lauren khaki pants year over year and know that they fit. I have to try on 20 pairs of pants each year to find ones that fit even though I haven't changed sizes. The only clothing of mine that he cares about are the ones that only he sees :-)

I don't want to know how much money he spends on beer. He doesn't want to know how much money I spend on imported olive oil. Why sweat the small stuff that doesn't matter? The only thing I hide from my husband are the chocolate chip cookies. If I don't he eats them ALL!

all of our plastic bags. They are great for disposing of cat waste, using to line bathroom trash cans, using as packaging material for fragile items and even as a hair cover for when I color my hair. The newspaper bags are perfect for poop scoop duty when we have to walk our neighbors dog. I do feel bad about having all these bags. But since we already have so many of them, is it okay to re-use them at the grocery store until we run out and then switch over to canvas? It would be terribly difficult to just put the whole pile of them in the trash.

As far as paper bags go, I hate them. They don't hold a lot, they rips too easily, they leak and the handles are for sh*t. The nice thing about plastic bags is that you can sling about four of them all loaded up on each arm and carry them into the house all at once. With paper I have to make several trips just to get the groceries in the house. Plus they all fall over and spill on the trip home. Granted they are put to good use to carry all our paper recycling to the curb.

is that you don't have to pay her. I guess a fantasy mom would be nice, especially if she didn't come with the guilt & and the embarassing childhood stories.

I have to admit that my husband and I split the chores pretty much down gender lines as far as cooking and yard work goes. I'm a much better cook than he is and it's my hobby. He's a much better gardener and enjoys being out doors. The problem I have with the breakdown on that is every evening I make a home cooked dinner, if I feel tired and don't want to cook then we don't eat. He does yard work about 3 times a week. But if he doesn't feel like doing it that night, it's no big deal.

I think it's facile to say that career women who want to have children either have to find a stay at home husband or should not have kids. There are still few men willing to stay at home; although the number is growing, it's no where near critical mass. And you never hear people say that if a career man wants kids he has to to marry a stay at home wife or give up his career. A lot of career women are shamed into claiming that they *have* to work for the money instead of just being honest and saying that they value their work and don't want to be full time stay at moms/wives. But if they are honest about enjoying their work and not wanting to sacrifice that for their children they are called bad moms (or worse). Men don't get bashed when they choose to work; instead they are praised for supporting their family.