I had an abortion at 18. It was essential to me. Neither me nor my boyfriend were in any position to raise a child. And not that it really matters, but yes we were using birth control. I can still remember the feeling of panic and despair at the thought of being forced to go through a pregnancy that I didn't want or to have to raise a child I didn't plan for and could not support. It would have been life altering, it would not have been simply an inconvenience as you like to call it. In the state of mind that I was in, if I could not have obtained an abortion, I probably would have attempted suicide. You were traumatized by having your girl friend take away your control over having a child you wanted. I was horrified at having my own body taken away from me. I had my abortion and have never regretted it. What I do regret is the pregnancy itself, that's why I believe (and spend) in funding birth control education and research into new and better forms of BC. What I refuse to do, unlike you, is to judge other women (and their partners) that have abortions. I prefer to try to make sure that people don't have to end up where I did.

You had a shitty experience, no doubt about it. But I'm not sure what you've taken from it. All I hear from you is the blame game. If a woman has an abortion, she's irresponsible. If she doesn't she's forcing a man to support a child he doesn't want (nevermind that she will be supporting the child also). But women don't get pregnant on their own. You say "Why should women who aren’t responsible enough to keep themselves from getting pregnant be allowed to make any decisions about pregnancy?" Well, in your opinion you've got two irresponsible people here. So what's the solution? Do you force your girlfriend through a pregnancy that she doesn't want? Maybe lock her up so she can't get to the clinic or do something to hurt your child? Is that want you wanted?

I see that you offer abstinence as a solution. We have several hundred years of abstinence to look at and find that it really does nothing to prevent unwanted pregnancies or abortion. How about safe and effective birth control and realistic sex education? Wow, that's exactly what all of those Pro-choicers and "irresponsible" feminists have been advocating and funding. So how about instead of being angry and feeling powerless, why don't you get up and out there and make a difference?

"Does anyone actually have "obey" in a protestant ceremony? Have they in the past 100 years or so?

-- SnarlingCoyote"

I went to one just a couple of months ago where two supposedly modern people were married and used obey (just for the bride) in their vows. If that wasn't bad enough, the minister went on about how happy he was that the couple chose the traditional vow and that it was an extra sign of their commitment to each other. I was pretty pissed about it because the minister made it sound like those of us that didn't use "obey" weren't very committed to each other. Also considering that the bride and groom "lived in sin" with each other for a year before getting married, it was quite hypocritical of them to crow about their traditional values.

And then a few years ago my then-boyfriend took me to his roommates wedding in Knoxville, where the bride didn't just pledge to be obediant, but also that she would be subservient to her husband because "he, like Christ, is the head of the family, as Christ is for the Church." The preacher went on about this theme for several minutes. It was pretty close to an S&M manual for the couple. Which truthfully would have been a lot better and more entertaining. My boyfriend and I drove home from that wedding and I was really reconsidering our relationship when he said "wow, what a crock of sh*t, everyone that knows the couple, knows that the bride wears the pants in the family."

those were both protestant weddings, although the second was some weird (to me) evangelical offshoot.

I know there have been several studies about taller men getting better paychecks and moving up the corporate ladder faster than their shorter coworkers. But I wonder about the romance aspect of it. More interesting to me would be the height differential between spouses. I'm a petite woman and mostly dated men within 5 inches of my height. Although I have dated one or two much taller guys, it wasn't their height that attracted me to them. Indeed I found the height difference a real pain in the neck (hahaha!). But seriously, there is about a 3 inch difference in height between my husband and myself and I love that we can look each other in the eye, snuggle up close in all the right places and dance cheek to cheek.