Letters to the Editor
MWise
Published Letters: 253 Editor's Choice: 19
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Planning a wedding isn't just for brides
[Read the article: Shopping and weddings: Not just for the ladies]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Most couples I know have shared wedding planning pretty equally, my husband was very involved in our planning. Maybe it's because we are generally skewed older (early 30's) when we married and both of us have careers that neither of us had lots of time to sacrifice to planning but we definitely wanted a fun wedding for our friends and for ourselves and one that wasn't high-jacked by our mothers. And also because we were putting up a chunk of change and didn't want it wasted on stupid crap like wedding favors, but wanted top shelf liquor for our friends and family. We also found that it was good practice in negotiating each other's family's and learning how to compromise. My husband might not have cared what my bridesmaids wore (self selected black cocktail dresses), but he certainly cared about the vows that we were going to say to each other, what passages were going to get read at the ceremony, our first dance (j. cash "ring of fire") and what type of tuxedo he'd be wearing. He's a grown man who can watch football while making wedding programs and he can certainly pick out his own damn tie!
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10 Years Ago on DC Metro
[Read the article: Grope gripes get heard]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I was a college intern at a PAC in DC and rode in on the Orange line for an entire summer and got groped only once(thankfully). I was sitting in the windown seat and on this well dressed middle aged man took the aisle seat next to me. He then proceeded to open his newspaper over his lap and mine and used it to shield his hand grabbing at my crotch. It was the only time I've ever been assaulted, I was too frightened to do anything other than jump up and vacate the train at the very next stop. I wish I had screamed at him or something, it still pisses me off to this day. Can't remember if the paper he used to shield his nasty behaviour was the Post or the Times...
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Issue voters vs Values voters
[Read the article: Breach of faith]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I think it was CNN that had some follow-up interviews at a right-wing Christian conference about the book and the Foley scandal and most of the people there said that they don't vote based on the values or character of the politicians, but instead they vote on if that politician will support their issues. Now didn't the Democrats gets raked over the coals post-Monica about still supporting Clinton because of his values (or lack thereof) and didn't we get fed the same line in '04 and '08. We heard "news story" after "news story" about Bush's values and Gore/Kerry's lack of them and how the elections weren't about issues, but about values. Turns out that the self righteous Christian right is full of hypocrites. I guess I can't really be surprised can I?
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The truth hurts...but lies are worse
[Read the article: I think my baby is my ex's -- and my husband doesn't know]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Oh how I wish this letter was a fake. But I know someone who was in almost this exact same situation, except they were the child. My friend's mother got pregnant while cheating on her fiance, she found out she was pregnant and so she told her fiance they were having a baby and of course they had to get married. This was pre-Roe and pre-Plan B. So my friend's "Dad" did the right thing, he married his pregnant fiancee and they started a family based on a lie. After another child (this time the biological father was the husband), my friend's "Dad" found out that his eldest child, wasn't really his and he was infuriated about the deception but did not want to divorce because of his youngest child. Instead he took out his anger on "the cuckoo" and treated his once beloved son as a leper. My friend was a small child at the time this happened, but was old enough to be aware of the change in his "father's" love. To complicate the matter, the biological father came back into the picture and demanded to get to know his son. So every month, his new "Uncle John" would come over to play with him. And his "Dad" would turn cold and stormy. He thought for years that his "Dad" hated him because there was something wrong with him or that he had done something bad. Even worse was that he was jealous of his younger sib because of the love his "Dad" lavished on the child. The home situation turned so poisonous that my friend was sent to boarding school for high school. He found out at age 18 that "Uncle John" was really his father and that his "Dad" wasn't and that his mother wasn't the honest person his thought she was. His entire life was turned over and he was a horrible mess for years afterwards. He has never been able to commit to a relationship and has a deep distrust of people. He didn't deserve any of this, but that's what he got because his parents (all of them!) refused to come clean and take responsibility for their choices.
The LW had a responsibility to her husband, she failed in that, she can try to do right with that by being honest with her husband. But ultimately, she has a larger responsibility to her child and she needs to do everything in her power to protect her child from her mistakes. Is it really worse to be a single mother than to raise a child in home full of anger and distrust? Lies and secrets are bad things, they do deep damage and the hurt they cause compounds over time.