... that it's a terrible thing to feign an affection you do not feel. For them but for you, too.

I've done the same thing. It's nice to feel needed, it's nice to feel sorry for someone and like you're so important to them, it's nice to feel so together when they are so falling apart. It's nice to feel like the one with all the power in the relationship because they like you more than you like them etc. But all of this is childsplay and not worth your time as an adult to be involved in.

If you want to be charitable give to a charity. If you want to feel powerful get a dog. But if you want to be friendly only be so up to the point where it is mutual. After that - no matter how 'in love' with you they may be, withdraw. Set a boundary. Keep it balanced and keep it mutual.

Frienship is meant to be a sustaining, mutually enjoyable pleasure in your life. This sounds like a pointless drama and a drain that's just goign to hurt both of you. And for what? The two of you trying to get your needs met by doing all the wrong things that will wind up with her feeling more needy than ever and you feeling exhausted.

And BTW - it does sound really petty regarding song writers and bands ... can't friends like different music?

Ach - poor you. But I've seen this in every area of life over and over and over - as long as you keep breathing and keep going to live another day you will recover and you will love again. As sure as eggs is eggs. It's the nature of things. It's the nature of life.

But I know that's just half your question. Cary's advice seems good. And write lists. There's a part of your brain that does know the practical steps to take to do this thing and your emotional side is screaming so loud in dismay and panic that you can't hear it. You can still keep screaming but also just keep putting one foot in front of the other until this is done.

Finally, don't forget to take good care of yourself. Could you make a promise to do that now? Never get too hungry, never get too cold. Exercise. Sleep.

Good luck.

And I think you're all - and I include your ex in this - trying to find the escape hatches to the situation you're in. And that situation is a very challenging phase including parenthood and career difficulties. Who wouldn't, if they could, want to run off on a fantasy cruise where lust and passion and connection ruled the day?

I think you need to find a way to incorporate elements of that cruise into your life with your husband. You two need to have an affair with one another.

I'm often struck by the way Americans do therapy the way you might do homework. In some ways it seems fantastic. I really admire that commitment and outlay of resources. But on the other hand it often sounds like punishment, and more stress and strain being applied to a place where there was too much stress and strain that caused the problems in the first place. How about leaving your child with the grandparents and going to a resort for a week?

I think it would be a terrible idea to have another child. I hope this is off the cards now. What a marriage struggling under too much stress and responsibility doesn't need is more stress and responsibility. Although it might be nice for your child to have a sibling it would be even nicer still to have mum and dad living together and loving one another.

The headline I've been waiting for. The whole world is waking up from a long nightmare today.

Why is it suddenly so difficult to distinguish between a fashion model and Michelle Obama? Because her photo is being taken? There is ABSOLUTELY NO REASON why Michelle should turn into a clothes horse just because so many of us women adore clothes. Some days I love dressing up, most days I just throw on whatever's clean. Celebrities are the ones who wear clothes so we can spend five minutes comparing notes and tearing them to shreds. Michelle is way too important and 'real' for that.

So - I think she should hire a stylist and be done with it. The way Hillary did during her campaign. She always looked fine - neat, smart, end of story. That's what Michelle needs to do so that she isn't turned into the Princess Diana/Jackie Kennedy of her generation. She has the opportunity to set a new benchmark here, based on her intelligence and warmth and very real energy for change - ie her anger. It's to everyone's detriment if she is forced back into being just another clothes horse.

Michelle! Hire a stylist right now and although it will be a shame not to choose your own clothes for hte next four years it will save you a world of hassle.

No! Don't work on anything! Don't do any more! As other respondents here have said - LW has quite enough on her plate already; she should let her husband handle this one, as he is doing.

If experience on this planet hasn't already revealed this to the LW so far: there is just no solving some religious differences and they are best ignored. Glossed over. Pushed under the carpet. Unless this is going to escalate into jihad I wouldn't give it another seconds thought.