I think the LW is experiencing a crisis elsewhere in his life and doesn't know how to express it except through his job. LW - what's happening at home? With your kids? With your wife? Are you wondering 'is this it?' 'Is this my life?' If the answer is a calm and confident nothing out of the ordinary, no, no ... then please, GUESS what might be the matter. Write a list of crazy suggestions for what might be the matter. Your socks don't match any more. You hate balding, you'd like to have sex once in a while ... anything. You'll feel a 'ka-ching' when you guess right. If none of this rings a bell - how about the past? Has anything terrible happened in the past few years that you had a surprisingly calm reaction to? Any crisis - health or emotional or otherwise? It's time to dig deep. It's time to find out what exactly is upsetting you. Because I think this is a cry for help. This is a cry for help from someone who has no vocabulary with which to ask for help.

And please - do it NOW so that you can get your job back into perspective. It's just something you do every day to keep you occupied, give a sense of a job well done at the day's end and give you a paycheck. Don't punish yourself any more for the feelings you feel like you're not meant to be having by losing

your job. That will just complicate things even further. You deserve attention. You deserve help. Start by giving it to yourself and then get yourself into therapy, or the gym, or whereever the cure might be found for whatever ails you. You are worth it.

This is the name of a book by a scientist (name I can't remember but the title will come up on Amazon) who has proven that maintaining muscle mass and bone density will not only maintain your metabolic rate (thereby avoiding middle age spread) but will maintain the key elements of youthfulness - strength, flexibility and vitality. As another letter writer has written, these qualities, far more than the number of lines on your face, are what communicate 'old and weak' or 'youthful and full of life'. I am 39 and I have dry skin that is already starting to wrinkle. But people routinely assume I'm in my early 30s. Being strong is a great feeling as well as knowing it looks good.

Draw a line in the sand. Put an end to this pathetic, childish dynamic. Tell him you go at different paces. People are different. It's the great existential problem that everyone in relation to other people (ie everyone) faces. We are not all the same. Tell him to put that in his pipe and smoke it and tell him that this topic between you needs to be retired. It's old. It's boring. It's basic. And it's shocking that he's made it this far through life without grasping this.

From now on when you are walking together, or skiing together, tell him that he needs to display the courtesy and consideration one would expect in a husband. He needs to enjoy your company, the feeling of your hand in his, and the viewpoint he gets on the world walking at your pace. Alternatively at times, if you feel like getting there at your own paces, agree to walk or ski separately. Respect and appreciation for our differences is what is at stake here.

Breasts are not the answer to feeling sexy, being gorgeous and having men want you. I don't know exactly what is - but I know it's somethign to do with your attitude, and how you show up for life, and how you present 'the whole package'.

Spend the money on a personal stylist who can help you work out your best features and highlight them. Decide on a style and embrace it. Without seeing you I'm thinking Jean Seberg from 'Breathless'.

Finally, scars, lack of sensation in your nipples, breastfeeding, possible link with breast cancer ... don't do it!