My feeling is that with the LW's past, the most important factors to consider are her career and financial achievements. The LW sounds justifiably proud of what she has achieved and how far she has come. Even if the husband was happier back in the big city, the LW might have a lot of grief and disappointment to deal with herself at losing the life she has so admirably created for herself where she is living now.

I hate to be unromantic, but the LW will always, always have to live with herself and she needs to put her own long term wellbeing and fulfilment first. Her house, her pets - they all sound like part of a hard won happiness.

Now to the husband: I think it's all a big old pile of BS. It was a great suggestion further up to allow him to make his choice. He needs to make it work with the LW or make it work for himself somewhere else. The crucial part in all this is HIM. NOT the LW. Be supportive LW but set him free. Hopefully he'll sort himself out but if he doesn't it's important to remember he wasn't happy anyway.

In Laura Ingalls Wilder's true stories based on her childhood pioneering in the US Christmas was a time to look forward to once the days started getting colder and darker and winter closed in. For weeks they would be holed up in a wood cabin with very little to do and even less variety in what they ate. Therefore the ritual of making popcorn strings and decorations for the tree, handmaking small toys and gloves and hats, and then on a special day singing songs and feasting made all the difference to an otherwise undifferentiated long dark night. It reminded people who needed reminding that spring would come again, and that even in the darkest days there is alwyas hope for the future. Every year the kids would be given an orange - it tasted like the sun, Laura wrote - and candies, unparalleled luxuries that they wouldn't have at any other time of the year.

Fast forward to today - non-poor people can have access to all the goods and foods they want all the time. The seasons affect us hardly at all, and an orange or some candies? Pa!

For this reason I think we should retire from buying gifts altogether, and find other ways of expressing our love for one another and our joy in the Christmas promise of new life.

I for one enjoy the fact that it is a universal holiday in the west - and yes my husband is Jewish but he enjoys the day off also - and a time of hope and togetherness. The more we weigh it down with work work work the more we show how hopeless we are as a culture at simply celebrating. And that's what Christmas should be - a simple celebration of the simpmle beauty and glory of life.

I say sing songs, worship and praise living things - like a tree, throw tinsel around, bring out the champagne, and LIVE. Shopping is death.

If worst comes to worst and you HAVE to give people something - give them all a copy of Little House in the Big Woods - or any of her other classics. Or - if they really won't go for that - support an author and give them a book voucher.

I used to work for the Australian equivalent of Child Protective Services. Take it from me: there is absolutely no point in getting these people off side unless you have absolutely no other choice. If they perceive you as hysterical or defensive or aggressive that will count against you - naturally. They have a job to do and their perceptions are an important part of the way they do their job.

That said, I think it sounds important for you to schedule an interview with someone at the agency to find out the status of your case. It's very serious that you are curtailing your activities and that you feel scared. That is absolutely not right and if you get a sympathetic ear at the agency they should be able to do a great deal towards allaying your fears.

Just like someone else has already said, they get calls like these all the time and they have to follow them up. It's awful that it has rattled you the way that it has but I would probably feel the same. That's why it's important to get closure on this and to find out more about what your rights are. That will put it in perspective and empower you to do that for your child or anyone else who might be interested.

Finally, when you do go and talk to someone at the agnecy (if you do) be calm, be confident, and be respectful. It will make everyone's life easier, particularly your childs.

I agree with the letter titled 'walk the walk'. If he is really sorry there are concrete steps he can take to redeem himself and prove himself a man worthy of being loved by you.

He can return all that he has stolen. He can confess to his crimes to the people that he stole from. Whether they take it to the police is up to them.

Until he takes these steps his past is in no way 'over'. And it won't be over for you, either.

If I were you I would need for him to take these steps to be worthy of your love. It's great that he's told you about his crimes - but that's not enough. He needs to walk the walk and then he will be worhty - of his own self respect and then of yours.