Cary's answer was unfortunately too long for me to read. Today I just don't have the time.

As someone who has worked in this field for many years - drugs and alcohol and young people - harm reduction and youth participation is the way to go. It works - and the studies are out there to prove it. In my experience it was very effective also.

How would it apply to your situation though? I think it would go something like this.

Tell, but don't tell everything. You could consider making the following points with your children:

All kinds of things can be used as a drug. Caffeine is a drug. Alcohol is a drug. Aspririn and ventolin are drugs. Nicotine is a drug. Drugs have their place in human society when used appropriately, but some drugs are dangerous and others are benign. Now - I know this is controversial but once again the studies are there to back this up - you might consider allowing them to drink a tiny amount of wine at meals or celebratory events. Thereby demonstrating appropriate drug use. Or allow them very watered down coffee sometimes. This also shows them that you trust them, and it shows them what appropriate drinking for eg looks like. Alcohol abuse among young people in Italy is much less widespread and a link has been made with the practise of drinking a small amount with meals.

Drugs have different effects. Some are uppers. Some are downers. Coffee is an upper. Alcohol is a downer. If you have too much of anything - two glasses of wine, two cups of coffee, you'll go too far up or down. Likewise with pot. Pot is a downer. So say you wanted to try it some time, you would only want to have a small amount to see what it's effect on you is. If I were their parent I would encoourage them to talk to me about what the effect had been.

By doing this you're giving your child the tools to make informed decisions about their drug taking, and you're encouraging openness and honesty - thereby taking a large part of the thrill out of it all. You're also winning their trust, so that you can then make the following points:

Pot: if someone has a tendency towards mental illness pot has a high correlation of triggering an episode. I also think from personal experience that a lot of pot hampers emotional development, particularly in young men.

Cocaine: you don't know what's in it. When they're a bit older I would say that if they were going to have some they should snort it, and they should have just a bit at a time to see what the effect is.

Speed: you don't know what's in it. Same as above.

Harder drugs - why would you do it? That's honestly the question I would ask them. Risk of addiction is high, and as a way of escaping emotional pain - there are more effective ways. Discuss.

The most important things I think are to maintain honesty and trust with one another. If one of them asks you directly about your own experiences I think you should tell the truth ... constructively is how I'd put it. eg I experimented a little, sure, (truth) but I did it safely (lie). I took some risks I really regret taking, and I hope you don't risk yourself that way. (unprotected sex and dangerous driving.)

Overall I would emphasisse that there is no blanket ban or policy on drugs - blanket bans always fail! Kids think 'you big hypocrite sitting there with your glass of wine' and proceed to go out and take ice.

I would encourage them to gather information and think about their choices carefully, and to talk them over with me. I would covertly emphasise that there are ways of getting natural highs, and there are ways of taking some drugs that are fine - alcohol, coffee, sugar ...

Dove is a big brand, and like all big brands they are going to have different products, different strategies for selling those products, different teams working on those products, different head honchos approving those strategies for sellign those products .... I can't believe I'm sitting here explaining this.

But the writer of the article didn't seem to understand. Yes, it's perfectly possible for every member of the team behind that great Dove ad to be utterly behind the message in every way ... and yet down the corridor another whole story is being sold.

Even so, WHO CARES? Do you really think a young girl, or potential purchaser - man, woman or child - is going to rejecc=t a positive message because they don't like the hypocrisy (not apparent to me) of the company? No. And the more positive messages put out there - by anyone, who care about their provenance, the better.

It's attitudes like this - no one is ever good enough, no one is ever entitled to try to make things better - that make it SO HARD for positive social programs to ever get any worthwhile support. Go and pick on a hypocritical destructive company instead - pointing out their inconsistencies - maybe one of their ads is slightly less negative than one of their other ads ... and leave a brand that is trying to do some good some of the time alone.

Oh, the relief of reading such good sense. That whole 'we only use a fraction of our brain,' is just another way to sell you stuff. Baby Einstein, self help, hypnotherapy. It also underpins the myth that there are some people out there so much smarter than the rest of us - Like Lance W. - and therefore deserving of their incredible privileges.

Well actually I DO think there are some people out there so much smarter than the rest of us, but they aint in politics or finance!