I want to add my voice to the chorus saying go there and help them out with goods and services.

I also think it's vitally important to start playing a role in those kids lives. Here's a possible scenario: while you're at your sisters, issue some direct invitations to the kids and the sister: come to my house for thanksgiving x date to x date - when it's time to come I'll send you the bus tickets. Same with Christmas, and birthdays. To help them you need to win their trust. Tell the sister you'll treat the two of you to a spa day when they come. Tell the kids they can look forward to a concert or a shopping trip. Enjoyable, relaxing things that will open you all up to one another in a trusting and enjoyable way.

If/when they do visit, try to make the visit as relaxing and UNCHAOTIC as possible. Calm pleasant times. Set activities and plans that everyone (especially the kids) can look forward to and count on. This can be as simple as a DVD and pizza the first night they arrive. Traditions and rituals you can start establishing now that will help them get over awkwardness and shyness about visiting.

I would avoid making any suggestions of courses or therapies for your sister unless she specifically asks you for advice. Everyone's life is harder and more complicated than anyone else can possibly imagine, and you'll just drive her away if you act like you want to improve her. On the other hand if you can offer her and her kids a fun, safe refuge from the madness in their lives (and they take you up on it) I guarantee it will have a bit impact, possibly more than you will ever now.

Finally, the suggestions of paying for lessons for the kids, or activities is a great one. Anything that can't be sold to pay for more gambling basically.

It's your duty to intervene in their lives as much as you possible can and to offer love and support and refuge. As for the money though - it's a hard one. If I could afford it I'd give it her as the opening step in a dance you want to have with her and her children. Painful as it will be to see it blow away it will prove that you love her and give her some temporary relief. That's worth a lot, isn't it?

But get going on those kids - get to know them, win their trust and have them to visit as often as possible.

I'll never forget that photo of the little girl burned by napalm running down the street and I hope no one else does either. People in Vietnam are still suffering the effects of napalm all these years later, having malformed babies and high rates of degenerative diseases. It was very moving to read that Nick is still in touch with Kim, and comforting, because sometimes photos like that make me uncomfortably wonder about the moral role of the photographer in that dire situation. In this case he brought something important to the attention of the world and has obviously lived up to his individual human responsibility as well. I'm glad to know about that.

And I thought it worked very well in the context of this story on Paris Hilton - as in 'hey we've all gotta make a living'. Here he is, a Pulitzer prize winning journalist, taking Paris Hilton's photo.

I clicked on the story because it's Salon's headline story for today and I generally think is Salon highlights it, it's worth reading, which in this case it was. I would never read about Paris Hilton anywhere else, and in fact my friends and I, who love gossiping about celebrities as the perfect form of escapism, never gossip about Paris, Nicole et al. Because it's just plain depressing and not escapist in any way. They seem to be ugly inside and out, those girls, and an awful symbol of decadence and bankruptcy. I also think they may all be heading for early deaths. I heard (on the radio) that Paris was having health problems in jail, and this article stated that hse occupied a medical bed. Is she a drug addict? I wouldn't be surprised.

I'm not going to forget about Nick Ut and Kim though - that's a very important story.

He's dark, dangerous ... and a vegetarian! Joaquin Phoenix has got to be one of the world's sexiest anythings.

Something about this letter gave me the strong feeling that this is NOT True Love. 'Two barrels full of immature little girl' doesn't sound like True Love.

That doesn't mean it couldn't mature into True Love if given the chance, but I wouldn't stake anything on it being so right now.

My psychic feeling is that the LW loves his girlfriend more than she loves him. He craves a security she doesn't want to pledge. The pleading tone of the whole letter gives him away - it's his girlfriend that he's pleading with.

It sounds like she's just not that into you, dude. And that makes you feel like crying. Or maybe just the looming separation is making you want to cry. Well, that's a GOOD thing. Have your feelings, wallow in them. Go on and cry.

And while you're crying pack your bags. You're going to Toronto.