This article shocked me becuase I'd never known that Casanova committed incest - within his own family and other families. It reflects on our society that he is remembered so positively. 'A real casanova' is a term of praise, if reluctantly so. That's all changed for me now. I utterly disagree that he could have been an instrument of empowerment in any way for women when the scope of his interest was so undiscriminating, compulsive, sometimes abusive and from a young age on - diseased. A disease which lead to horrific deformities and pain and for which there was no cure.

Combined with what I know about conditions for women at that time, the whole angle of the article becomes an awkwardly obscene anachronism, where tired old ideas of 'sexual libration' from the sixties are hybridised with supposedly liberated sexual mores from the past. Bullshit. Where's there's no choice there's no freedom, and women were stuffed whichever way they turned. Without legal rights to their own bodies or their own children, with no say in their own future and no right to own property or be paid for their own labour, they had everything stacked against them, and Casanova would have been just another threat to be circumnavigated. Who knows if some of his partners enjoyed themselves? Hopefully so. But I can say without doubt that the children he raped would have been damaged for life.

This is just another very sad case of self mythologising working wonders down the ages. George W. should write about his life and times as a leading intellectual. Madonna should write about her spiritual leadership of humanity; Brad Pitt should write about his acting prowess ... and we should all laugh our heads off so we don't groan in despair.

That house is a life achievement. You love it, you have already invested in it. Hold on to it - particularly as you don't have partner/kids/etc. This house will be a friend to you - both financially and emotionally if you can hold on. My solution when in money trouble is always to earn more. That means it's now time for you to take the next step career wise. Not just into greater earning power but greater responsibility, new challenges, new opportunities for learning and expression - and higher status, as befits a person getting older.

I flat out don't believe that there aren't opportunities for you to do this. In my case it meant going from community development and health promotion for a state NGO to public relations for a huge pharmaceutical multinational doing ... guess what? NGO community development! I took it step by step, knowing that there must be a need for my ever increasing level of experience and skills. Now I do on a global level what I used to do on a state one. Same job, very different status and salary. I really believe this is possible for everyone, particularly when you have nothing else holding you back. I don't get the same warm feeling when I tell people who I work for, but the warm feeling of money in the bank and a non leaky roof over my head more than compensates. (Full disclosure: right now I'm broke and freaking out about money. This is unusual for me - usually I spend the same amount year in year out, but in a difficult year I've somehow spent a fortune on ... um ... cafe lunches every day? 'Bargains' on ebay? I honestly don't know. Carey's wise words about difficulties and not creating more difficulties while deal with present difficulties is spot on in my case. I'm printing it out and stickign it next to my desk for constant, and easy reference).

You say you'd like to have a job for less pay and more fun. How about a job for more pay and more fun? When you're challenging yourself and going after things you want that can be fun and exciting in itself. And I much prefer waking up in a sweat about job situations - which I can somewhat control - than financial ones, which are only a worry when there's not enough money to pay the bills and that officially means you're Out Of Control.

Would it be possible for you to, like me, take your non profit skills into the profit sector? Look at ads, talking to some people in corporate-ville and see what they say. eg some big law firms have pro bono sections ...

Finally, I just want to say I love letters and responses like these. I like how non-tragic they are, and yet truly difficult. I think of them as the 'mid range' kind of life problem that are the ones you're lucky to be dealing with - as opposed to the 'super huge and looming kind of problem' - but they can eat up your happiness and peace of mind all the same. People's responses have been really helpful too - TO ME. I didn't know I had a problem like this, and I don't exactly, but I do generally enough that the thoughtfulness and variety of people's responses have buoyed me up this morning. So thanks.