Something about this article doesn't ring true to me.

I agree that grief can really do strange things to your head and as a best friend in that situation the appropriate thing is obviously to go with what the grieving person wants - even if it's not to see you, and to forgive them for it.

But that's not what this person did.

She hung out for DAYS and WEEKS, was it even more than a month? - when she obviously wasn't wanted. Why? Why not go home after a day or two, write a note saying 'thinking of you, call whenever you want' and get on with your own life? That's the best thing for everyone. What's the point of adding her own, minor, 'I don't know what to do here in Boston' crisis on top of the real crisis that was going on for her friend? It seems supremely self indulgent and narcissistic - particularly the permission she gave herself to be a bad guest at that other house. I can't stand people who decide to join you in your troubles by creating some troubles of their own.

The clues to a different truth about why that friendship ended are everywhere in this story - the bra, the drinking, the being asked to leave that other house in Boston - something is awry here. Those stories are bizarre and point to a different reality that the author isn't coming clean about.

Convenient as it may be to put the end of this friendship down to september 11, I don't think this one is actually the terrorists fault.

I'm a big believer in investing in land. Particularly in land that you love. Maybe I read Little House on The Prairie one too many times as a child, but to me land is the ultimate investment, both financially and emotionally. If you can hang on to this land it will only appreciate in value (whatever the market does in the next couple of years) and be an increasingly valuable asset, for you and your descendants.

I don't know what it is, but Owning Land Where You Have Been Happy can give you such a great sense of security. When you're not there in person a part of you is always there in spirit, looking at the trees, laying a fire and feeling good. It's a way of holding back unwelcome change - to the area, and perhaps to what happened to your family. If you can't have your family you can at least have your family home.

For a certain kind of person, like me, land is the ultimate security. I come from a long line of land owning peasants so perhaps it's in my blood. Whatever reason, I have often got more comfort from places than people and it sounds like to me this is one of those places that may well have the magic that can keep you warm and grounded for a long time.

I wanted to volunteer my experience as I thought about this a lot when I was a new mother.

Perhaps one of the big differences is between introverts and extroverts. As an outoing (usually) introvert I need time alone to process huge life changes, challenges and joys. I found it very difficult in the weeks after my baby was born to cope with the, to me, non compatible needs of family and friends to be there and shower love on us (as well as big doses of well meant advice and questions) and my own need to be quiet, peaceful and alone with my baby. Finally, after a few disastrous baby viewings that wound up with me and the baby in tears and our guests bewildered and confused, my husband and I decided that we would take six weeks of alone time to bond with our baby AND THEN embark on a frenzied social round. This worked out really well for us and I wouldn't hesitate to do it this way next time around.

I know that in some cultures, including English culture in previous centuries, it was and is the custom for a woman to stay in bed with her baby for the first six weeks of her baby's life, not receiving visitors and mainly staying warm and rested. This makes so much sense to me. It's a way of establishing a loving intimate bond with the baby, establishing milk supply, establishing a familiar and non stressful environment for the baby, avoiding exposure to infection through other people and staying warm. It also happens to be the introverts dream scenario!

I think it's part of the increasingly pressured and performance based culture of childbirth (eg people having family and friends to visit DURING labour) for there to be social expectations on the new parents from the beginning. This is bound to really suit some people - eg extroverts - but for others it's a nightmare. I found it really difficult to cope with other people's expectations of me to be the perfect hostess and social organiser at a time when I was fully occupied elsewhere.

The best friends did the following: brought lunch over, stayed for a few minutes to shower compliments on everyone in sight, and then LEFT. Sent presents through the mail with invitations to come over when we were ready. Left loving phone messages with again no mention of when we had to call back by.

I like the idea of people coming over and cleaning and helping out but in reality I couldn't cope with this at all. A world where it's suddenly okay for other people to be cleaning my house and going through my cupboards is a foreign one. A cleaner is okay because I don't know them. But for friends to do this would be way too invasive at a time when I felt too raw and vulnerable anyway.