I agree with Cary that marriage is a public contract in which the couple's community of family and friends is asked to support that union - and for any relationship to do well it needs some degree of community approval and support. (That's why I think gay marriage is an important institution that should be supported by everyone who believes in marriage.) The LW shouldn't give his/her support if they have information so guaranteed to undermine it when it comes out - and it will, sooner or later. The minute the brother and his fiancee took their relationship public - planning a wedding, visiting family - it was no longer something strictly between the bride and groom.

Besides, this is about something bigger than their relationship. It's about the whole foundation of the bride's world and trust in life. Her trust for her fiancee will fall apart when she finds out that he has been lying about his past. Her trust in her whole community, will fall apart - possibly forever - if she finds out that half the people who smiled and participated in her wedding ceremony was lying also. It's also about the LW's sense of integrity and what he will and won't do in the name of family. He shouldn't lie. He shouldn't pretend and participate in a hurtful facade. Even if his brother is upset with him at the time, if he ever does come to his senses he will realise these qualities make the LW a better, more trustworthy and reliable brother than a lesser one.

Marriage and children is not a game, even though the LW's brother is treating it like one.

I think LW should tell his brother that he has to tell his fiancee the whole truth and give him a very small time frame - say, three days. He should say he wants to hear from the fiancee that she now knows the truth. If the call doesn't come the brother should phone the fiancee and tell her himself. Anonymous letters are tempting but they can too easily go wrong and create more hurt and confusion. Such potentially earth shattering news is better coming from a caring and involved person.

You will have done the right thing LW, no matter what the fallout.

This whole article strikes me as bizarre. First of all isn't it a little unusual that in a world where the average white woman is size 14 - 16 the author went out with exlusively skinny women? Unless you purposely date models they're not that easy to find.

Secondly, despite what the Victoria's Secret catalogues may suggest, plenty of men desire and love average size women. Look around you at all the sexed up couples you know and count how many are of average size.

Later in the article the author elides the idea of a non skinny woman with a more than averagely fat woman. They're very different things. Marilyn Monroe was curvy - I wouldn't say she was fat. Weighing 200 pounds is starting to be pretty big ... marrying a woman who weighs 235 pounds - well, that's much bigger than average. So if the author is saying he likes women who are unusually large - that's unusual. But if he's saying he likes women who aren't skinny - that's normal.

The average weight of models has dropped dramatically since the fifties. This isn't because men's tastes have changed, it's because women's consumer power has increased. And in selling to women advertisers find it profitable to market an unattainable ideal. This spurs the consumer to feel inadequate and therefore in need of something - hopefully the product advertised. Look at the heroin junky models advertising clothes and bags in Vanity Fair - these women are not meant to be sexy! They look dead. They're meant to look cool, unattainable and rare - and they are.

Also, skinny, bony people look better in photographs than round soft people, even though in real life the round person may be much more beautiful than the bony one. The camera adds ten pounds at least when it flattens a three dimensional person into two dimensions on the page or screen.

Finally, the photo the author uses to illustrate this article seems to be making fun of his wife. He is lifting her and he looks as though he is staggering - or at least his face is completely buried in her stomach. It's a 'gag' shot which is an unusual choice for a just married couple. More weird still, while the photo reveals his wife in all her curvy abundance it emphasises his smallness by comparison, and completely conceals his appearance. Thus she is exposed and he remains hidden. Perhaps that's the source of a fat woman's appeal to this man?