Without seeing the other posts, which I am certain will tell LW to ditch her, I have a few thoughts:

First, bravo Cary for the dancing veil images and for attempting to describe the indescribable. Some of it was very funny and perfect for this kind of madness. I agree with you on this one, love is between two souls and escapes logic and reason.

It IS like a bonfire out of control.

Is there a way to have something like this inside and not hurt others?

I wonder if the LW can know that it has everything to do with her and nothing to do with him or how much she loves him. At least he can know that, because it is almost a sure thing. For some reason, this woman needs the attentions and the specific attraction that comes from other men, men she isn't nec. attached to.

I know this feeling and intentionally seek deep friendships with men and women that are not based on this intoxicating and overwhelming attraction. Those feelings still come in certain situations and a few times I've not handled it with grace. Not what I want in my life because it's hard to miss that they will destroy connections I hold sacred. They will end up hurting someone, possibly everyone, because I don't know how to hide or compartmentalize that kind of thing. Maybe for my primary relationship, that is a good thing. Does it matter how much we love our lover, our sig. other? Is there a way through your years of marriage and kids and payments and domestic crap to have a bonfire with just that person?

Wouldn't it be easy to run to another when we are in a fight with our partner? It would be fun to dabble and experiment and play with all the ones that made us hot, but that is just a fantasy and...

fantasy is ALWAYS better than reality in this case.

Yep, just like the book you read that leads you to the disappointing film. Believe it. The grass appears so much greener. We think someone will "feed" us in some particular way when it has to come from within. LW, she is grasping at things that have sharp edges and has become entranced with them. I am sorry for you that your marriage has someone so addicted to the feeling of desire because in the end, even if she is just playing, you are being deceived. That must hurt and I would want to kill these men, or at least make their lives miserable. Maybe that's part of the unfolding drama/fantasy too.

It is certainly the stuff of movies, literature and music! In my music files I just found hundreds with only a glance.

When people make a committment to each other, esp. in marriage it usually means monogamy, unless you are like the last LW. That can be sticky too, eh? Cary is right on here, it's all so strange and confusing, the wonder of another, the bliss of connecting. Intoxication and release.

Your only hope to salvage this and make it work is to be very direct with her, with anyone involved. You may have to tie her to that chair( haha Cary!) and talk until you are exhausted. You may have to give an ultimatum and seek paths heading out and away. If she is committed she'll see your pain and find the strength to put you before herself. That would be love.

Why do so many posters get riled up when Cary uses metaphor to expose the insanity in some of these situations? The LW's life IS rather, uh, bizarre to many, so why is Cary the crazy person when he's using this type of humor?

I'll agree he may not always hit the mark, but don't we come here for his special brand of writing, and because we know we will not get run of the mill Dr. Phil hard love every time from a guy like Cary?

If you don't think the veil dancing is funny, then perhaps you can at least see that the situation of the LW is one crazy dance.