Dear LW,

I've been on both sides of this noise war and can tell you there is rarely a solution that works. Before you spend countless frustrating hours worrying over this, draw up a clear list of all your options and begin acting on your list. Without even looking at the rest of the letters here, I am sure there is some useful advice in the middle of the usual mean spirited projection.

Exactly why I don't read the letters here anymore.

Anyway, always start in a straightforward manner and by talking to the person or people who are disturbing you. Until you do that you can't know quickly or aggressively to proceed. Remember that the people above usually have no idea how loud it is for the people below (in many situations eh?), but it isn't personal. Since you've had such sucky experiences, get a noise machine, a fan, earplugs, melatonin, and a flashlight, keys and slippers to put next to your door for when you will have to march upstairs. Because you will need these things handy if you stay.

Landlords, managers, and especially owners are responsible to deal with these things promptly. You know that they won't bother though, right? It's not just an unwillingness, it's an incapability thing.

Good luck. I feel your pain! There endless stories from years of renting to write here for you, and looking back some of them are hilarious... but this is your story not mine. In 2007 Harry Bean made a movie about this sort of thing with a perfect title: Noise.

sorry for the duplicate.

Hilarious HH!

And I'd like to say Hallelujah to this part:

" "American Idol" has grown more and more insipid and idiotic and worthless since its first season..."

If he's afraid he will cheat, are there other things he's afraid he may do? Is there an impulse control issue or something? I mean, people don't generally fall on top ( or below, or beside ...) other people and start rubbing together, unless they are in situations where this can happen.

What a lame excuse if it is that his family did this and so he feels destined to repeat history! I mean come on dude. At the end of the day, you either trust or you don't. So really, this is a question that you can ask yourself. It has little to do with him.

I hope you guys can work it out without this cloud of if and when hanging so heavily over your rather new relationship. Beginning a life path together? This is the easy part.

There are only two Exes I'd turn away if contacted. They were manipulative, selfish, ignorant, and kind of cruel. As I recall them now, there is a strange residual anger. Best case scenario is that we die without ever seeing each other again. So anyway...

It doesn't seem like you acted this way. You may be a reckless or hopeless romantic who let a good thing go, but it sounds like you should contact her once more. Remember though, that you hurt her and sometimes that sort of thing can't be reconciled. Be direct but calm in your note or whatever, but then you have to let it go.

Good luck. Love is never in vain.

"Sometimes people who yell just want to be heard."

Hallelujah Cary. Ha!

It's pretty simple LW, the yelling or raised voices is just a sign of raw frustration. Sit with your sensitivity and discomfort. Really, I mean be in the room when the explosion is going on so you can observe. Try not judging your own reactions or the behavior. This may give you opportunities to clarify language and discover coping mechanisms to deal with the drama and energies.

We yell in our house. There is no hitting or abuse like you described but I will agree anger is unhealthy, especially if left unchecked. It usually isn't personal, but when people can't cope they revert to this aggressive behavior to be heard. To avoid conflict is pretty normal, so at least you know you aren't crazy!

Just a thought: Do you absolutely have to live with so many people? Also, avoid large cities, lack of sleep, drugs, stress and any situations with crowds of overzealous fans. Oh and definitely cage fighting. Dude, that sh** gives me nightmares. What is wrong with those people? ANYway...

You'll be OK, it's highly unlikely your roommates will hurt you with their anger. Pretty soon you'll probably be living somewhere else anyway. Use this as grist for your mill.

It is not OK to move in on a girlfriend's ex. Your twin is definitely not your friend. That's an icky break of the girlfriend code. The ex is probably in teen jerk off boy heaven, but it's dysfunction junction. And what family is not dysfunctional? Family can be like quicksand.

Cary is onto something here. It may seem obvious and oversimplification but these words ring true for everyone: you can only change yourself. I've got some work to do on my own family junk. Good luck LW! I used to wish I had a twin sister but not any more.

"For those who missed sex ed, most vaginas are no deeper than five and a half inches, meaning an abnormally large penis would likely hit the opening of the cervix -- and, as any woman who has had a pap smear can tell you, it isn't an erogenous zone. "

TCF, You are so funny! I really enjoy your work and this bit really "hit" home.

Perhaps I am just getting old, but you lost me on the part about "peeing onstage". I'll try this pc. again later.

"...but there will be 6 million teenage girls blogging about their plans for the weekend."

Oh dear god help us all!