I like how Salon is remaining true to it's roots. Wasn't the beginning more on parenting and motherhood and less on randoms? I enjoy Traister's articles too.

Parenting is harder now because the kids are never out of our sight. Not like how it used to be, "Honey, be home by dinnertime!" Yeah right. Like parents let their kids leave all day on their bikes... alone. Gasp!

The heaping buckets of guilt are passed out regularly. Let's put a hole in that bucket!

Oh Dear Garrison! What did you do now? Everyone's panties are in a bunch about some other column. I'd like to see them write as often and as well as you. Then they'd have valid space to attack in snarky criticism after being sent a reminder from their online watchdog group.

About the bad eggs... it sounds right to me. Squeaky wheel gets the oil. Mommas fix what's wrong, not what's right. I don't care what your Momma says, you're my favorite.

funny!

Adam belongs in the theater. He is over the top and doesn't work in a genre like this. The other guy was more subtle and more pleasant to listen to.

subterranne wrote: "But I have never seen such an orgy of bland music and effusive sycophancy in my life."

EXACTLY!

I agree with exquisite koi's post:

"It's not homophobia, it's not that he's too "edgy" for bland stupid Americans, it's a predictable pattern of national character. We don't like coronations. We like to go for the underdog."

you only have four!

"Compare that with Emmanuel Lubezki's work in "Children of Men," which is set in an equally bleak future and still has a vital, shuddering beauty."

I was thinking about other post apocalyptic and futuristic movies and agree. Also on the topic of faulty technology and bleak futures: the black humor of Terry Gilliam's Brazil. It has such heart and visual stimulation in comparison to the Terminator junk. Consider that Brazil was made in 85, before all the great technological movie tricks... yet it still makes Terminator look like a tedious stream of worthless noise.

While I dislike large crowds or gatherings, I am considered an extrovert because hearing other people's stories and sharing life experiences is a fascination. I always work a room just to learn more about who is there. Entering a party or space occupied by many, I seek who and what is interesting or creative in some way. It isn't difficult because I am not thinking so much about how I present myself, rather what the other person is feeling or saying. It's sort of an energy thing. The fear of anyone else is eclipsed by curiosity!

Maybe this sounds odd to someone who has labeled themselves "introvert", a box that is limiting and can simply mean shy. Shyness is not only common, it's alright! You don't need self help manuals, you just need to hang with some people who can be both shy and outgoing. It has been said that if you recharge yourself alone and not around others, that you are more of an introvert. Perhaps everyone is shades of both. People are not going to attack you for being reserved or shy. You may regret it though if you don't meet them and step out of your comfort zone.

Instead of "be yourself", how about be interested and observe with fascination. Look for someone or something that holds your attention and makes you want to ask questions or find out more. Try it just once, let your intuition and the "energy" people emit be your guide. You can tell so much by just seeing someone move and looking at their eyes.

I wish you could come to my party, I'd introduce you to people who would make you forget that you weren't talking a lot. There would be entertaining comedians, music and dancing and no one to judge. Find a way to enjoy these moments, life is so short. One of my friends was just diagnosed with a brain tumor, possibly cancerous. This takes away any fear of others when you consider how limited our time here is.

isn't murder something that can be seen in the ten commandments? these are the big no no's for "christians", right?

i love how they create false justifications to suit their human judgements and faults. makes christians look bad.

cracks me up.

love cary tennis!

I find it impressive that you struck out on your own so young and did some exploring. That is more than our last President can say. You are being so hard on yourself! So you've had some disappointments. It's a part of the human experience. Just because you haven't gotten published or made lots of money does not make you a failure dammit!

Have you been kind? Have you loved and been loved? Do you smile at people sometimes? Then you are doing great.

Quit beating on yourself! That is the voice of the critic, the editor, the judge and it comes from ego struggling to take over. You are imagining that what you think is real, which is not true. Cary is right that to recharge and find some energy for other pursuits will do you well.

Here's a little secret: NOBODY really knows what they are doing. If they say they do, run! We are all just figuring this life out... wandering, or staying put.

i miss you when you aren't here cary. a lot of people do.

take care and know that you are in our thoughts.

--------

LW,

alzheimer's has hit a member of my immediate family. it is terrifying. awful. devastating. your mother may not have this, but whatever it is, you are in for a long trip. don't give up on her! use this to deepen your love and compassion.

my best wishes to you.

e.m.

Cary,

Welcome back!

LW,

The guy is a jerk.