in a vicarious sort of way! No, actually I feel kind of disgusted about the incest and overlap associated with this. No, it's cool. Noooooo it's so not! Dear LW, you have me so confused I don't even know what to write.

You've given me a split personality disorder reading this because I am tolerant and open to almost everything. Even if I don't enjoy the Hedonism III cruise, I enjoy knowing that you can! Burning Man, hey, bring it on! The occasional pushing of boundaries with other adults...you go for it if that's what you like! Dan Savage is funny most of the time. I can get into Anais Nin or even soft stuff. But hey, there is something really creepy and gross and icky about this one. It just isn't healthy, this, uh, roll playing, from any perspective.

But who am I to judge healthy? I've had some pretty crazy times too. Haven't we all pushed into some spaces where we weren't quite comfy? But that isn't what is disturbing about this. This is a person who is sick and she might need someone to help her, but honey, it aint you and your DOM man. Yuck. Is everyone just meat on a hook to you guys? Surely there a human being in there somewhere who has something non-sexual to offer.

If in reading your letter, I feel manipulated and want to scream, "say what you really want, what you really mean!" about your odd connection with this 19 yr old, imagine what people living in your midst must feel. Your kids for example. But I will not judge you as a Mom, that is not the issue either. It has been my experience that clear intention and focus on your own kids is the best path when you feel the need to mother someone else's.

Cary, again, what is going on with you? You just condemned a woman for pot and yet you gave this LW and her hubby a nudge towards "helping" this young woman? Admittedly you said you were out of your element, but you must know she means something only sexual when she says dominant/submissive.... don't you? C'mon Cary, I am feeling disillusioned here. I had you up pretty high. You are the reason I keep checking Salon like a addict rat.

So I cannot tell you, LW, what to do. I can say that you just made me feel sad. People sometimes play out things that should have been taken care of a long time ago in their sex lives. That's what this sounds like. This is a lifestyle that needs to be sectioned off, it belongs in the vault( not that place in NYC, but the metaphorical).

I hate it when someone tells someone else they are innapropriate or that they've committed some faux pas when it isn't warranted. To shame someone for choices or misdirected judgement and scorn, but you have earned a little just now. Time for a sit down with hubby to reign it in so you don't get so far out there. Come back to earth, age gracefully, embrace your ordinary life, stop oversexualizing others. Projection indeed! Your husband baits her and when she bites then you think, "golly, she needs help"!

And never allow someone like this sick young woman near your children, ever. They are sponges with incredible radar. You already know this and it's been said but since you asked...

The existence of other ways of life threatens these Islamists and their various factions. It is "us against them" in it's purest state. They will kill or be killed trying to annihilate anyone that is not of their belief system and nothing the U.S. or anyone else does will change them.

So you now write that you are for legalizing pot and yet, in your earlier post you called Cary a pothead and said the kid should turn his mother into the authorities. Getting the police invoved via the son was your initial response.

Which is it? You can't have it both ways.

In "your book" as you say, have you lost your mind or just your memory?

Thank you letter writer for chiming in because it does actually sound as if you care and are moving slowly and thoughtfully with this. I offer my apologies for saying you weren't a good friend and for questioning you in my last post.

To those who advocate jail time for the Mom:

Suggesting the son send his own mom to the big house, yes, right next to Lester the molester and Rudy the rapist. Are you serious? Are you living on this planet and have you actually been to a jail?

After all, pot smokers are so very dangerous and deserve to be beaten and sodomized with the rest of the animals. Oh, but sodomy is illegal, so of course it wouldn't happen to her in jail. Of course you can imagine what arresting Mom would do to that family, the son, his sibling, the Dad, and anyone else already hurting in this situation.

Also, on a few side notes, Dad may need to get more involved. I enjoyed that some people mentioned all the big pharma options pointing out the hypocrisy of the alarmists. Thankful someone mentioned that truth!