Phelps looks a lot cooler to me now. What's the big deal? People are weird.

Great advice Cary.

I too have ambivalent feelings about these lists. However, from reading yours and a few others, I am reminded how much many of us are alike. That leaves me feeling a little less alone in the world. Also amused, giggling, charmed, and grinning into a monitor.

My 25 list was about music. That is what is closest to my heart and it only made sense. Too shy to post it here because often respondents on Salon are mean spirited. Perhaps I'll send it it just to you... but of course you'd have to be on facebook. Aha!

Donnie Darko rocks. The theme song Mad World gets me every time.

Perhaps I have a distaste for movies with snarky/hip/clever names. Can't get past the title or the cuteness of it.

Missing this one for Slumdog Millionaire!

Here we are on the world wide web, along with complete strangers, writing things in a thread on a site about how impersonal modern communication has become.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nrlSkU0TFLs

a parody of facebook.

he's yummy.

"Now, please get off the computer and go find some real problems to worry about."

Good long laughter. Thanks.

What? It isn't OK for me to just poke you whenever I want?

...shall remain a mystery. Surprise! A beautiful talented woman is attacked, and not just by Chris Brown.

It makes zero difference what the cause of their disagreement was, there is no excuse for Mr. Brown's behavior. Just because you are a good dancer and entertainer does not give you a hall pass for violent behavior. Manipulate the facts any way you like but this was clearly an assault. People need to give the victim some space and if they can find it in their cold shriveled hearts, a shred of compassion.

Tweenies and very young immature girls may verbally attack and judge her because they don't get it and have no sense of self. Jealousy and cruelty are hallmarks of that age group. Adults should be ashamed of themselves.

Isn't it part of the human condition to trick ourselves into thinking something sexual is more than it is sometimes? Especially for women, who are programmed to mate for the long term. Well, this does not cover the whole population, but many.

What makes you think your situation is unique? The part about the dude is a classic story. It happens all the time, that slight manipulation from one side while the other side imagines it better than it is in reality. If he just wanted to have sex, it is no reflection on you. It's not like you weren't good enough to turn that frog into a prince. Come on, a frog is a frog!

So yeah, stop being so hard on yourself and beating yourself up about losing something that's just smoke to begin with. Intense chemicals have been released and that tape in your brain keeps repeating but that doesn't mean you can't get unstuck. Your thoughts about yourself and that brief interaction with Mr. Suave aren't real.

You've gotta find some humor in this. Who has not been rejected? Give yourself a break, this is painful just to read. Hang with your good girlfriends, get out of your head and make a "f you" mix. Let it all out. We've all been hurt and we've all hurt others. Dissecting this (and yourself) isn't productive. This makes you stronger, you just don't realize it yet.

"Beauty" is not free of suffering nor does not ensure you will be loved. He's just a person, with fears and faults and his own issues. Quit beating yourself up! Life is hard enough without deliberately haunting yourself. Get busy doing something healthy and helpful to others that feeds your soul.

Just in case, don't forget your lip gloss.

ack, i give up. fingers don't type as fast as mind moves.

hope that made sense of helped in some small way. good luck!

I understand that some people find the president and/or his wife good looking, but thinking about them in relation to sex... ick. Why does this need to be on Salon?

Broadsheet writers have mentioned this more than once. You more than mention it, you keep banging us over the head with it and you are off base. I am proud to call Mr. Obama Mr. President and hope he does well for our country, but you guys are creepin' me out.

I just had time to read your response Cary. Compassionate and thoughtful... not that we expect anything less.

I almost want to share one of my silly problems just to see what you write. It's always a surprise.

Dear LW,

You look very nice today.

e.m.

Now you try it with someone who is really there. Only if you feel it though.

Wedding.

Poussin. Interesting word. Never used it and wouldn't eat it.

See, Gwen's class ignorance is doing something good in the world! Expanding the vocabulary of poor people everywhere.

Just what we need, another predictable empty big budget comedy that tries too hard. It sounds almost as good as the rash of comedies where the dude dresses up like a granny or a fat lady.

Unless you are a teenage boy trying to get laid, why would you take anyone to this movie? It's not even worth a review.