"Several things strike me in the posters -

- hostility to the LW"

I agree with your post. Sometimes in here there is a virtual stoning that seems malicious. As if people just check in here to rag on strangers who write. I hadn't realized there were that many miserable people out there. Hostility toward the writers on Salon too. It's odd.

Can't we all just get along.

"Maybe he doesn't see that it's not about what he's doing so much as about what you're feeling."

That speaks volumes. That and how he wrote that some people just click. That doesn't mean everyone who 'clicks' needs to 'link in'. Just be happy that he is with you LW, and that in this short lifetime he is finding other people he clicks with. Enjoy his delight and don't let jealousy or comparisons creep in. It does not sound like she's after your hubby at all.

When you are a mother, it is easy to feel isolated or compare yourself to other women. Instead, try embracing these other women and especially try deepening your relationship with your husband. Be candid when the time is right. Just tell him specifically what you need, what it would look like and how you feel. Then wait. Not everyone is on the same timeline.

Hang in there girl! It's going to be alright.

P.S. In a hurry this AM so if this is redundant, it is only b/c I scanned this fast and didn't read any posts.

There is something about this letter that is not right.

Women have to stop being so competitive with one another. It's just stupid. Again, focus on deepening your relationship and clear communication with your husband.

Another part, and this is not necessarily directed at you LW. Attacking the "other woman" who sounds like just a friend is unproductive and a hemorrhage of your already scant energies. Just because a man and a woman "click" does not make a porno flick. (I know, that rhymes... badly.) If she has been moody or you have perceived her as rude, I have an idea: Talk to HER about it.

You have to deal with people one on one so that don't create a soap opera in all your distraction. See the humor, see the light. Have fun and don't ruminate on this too much. Be the person you would enjoy being around! No drama.

I have nothing more to add, because tbone said it best:

"Please be advised this man is incapable of truly knowing how to care for someone."

Cary,

You crack me up!

I have just a few minutes online, but wanted to share a few thoughts:

Nobody really knows what they are doing. You aren't alone unless you focus on being alone. Look out more and look in less. Breathe in fresh air and get in nature every chance you get. Lastly, someone reminded me lately, "Don't take yourself too seriously, no one else does." In other words, have fun with this thing called life and don't toil away at defining it.

LW,

You signed your letter "cranky old person". You are anything but cranky or old. In fact, I want to be like you when I am your age. What really is age anyway?

e.m.

Cary that was just beautiful.

Cary is right about that walk in the rain. Some angry people here really need to get laid!

To all the begrudgers:

Happy people, kind people, don't bother to find places to post mean rants about people they've never met. Pathetic sad people do. Expose yourself more why don't you? Breathe in, breathe out, enjoy your life... not that difficult.

Sleep tight angry mob, don't let the bedbugs (in your head) bite. And please find someone to have sex with or at least seek out someone to give you a hug or something.

I clapped and cheered for you. Dick Armey is such a tool.

What's so wrong with giving a friend a little extra tlc if he really needs some attention? It sounds like he's being needy, sure, but you sound like you are kind of self-centered. Has it crossed your mind he may be depressed and that it's hard to reach out when you are depressed?

I have not made this particular demand on any friends, but I've had friends that stopped calling and I got tired of being the only one to reach out. We aren't friends anymore. Sometimes that's OK too. If you want this person in your life, reach out sometimes. If you don't, then you have your answer.

I come here because I want to support Salon. I think the writers here are great and I get a lot out of it. Cary though, he's special. There isn't anyone else that can write about such sticky, awful situations without a trace of judgment, superiority or attitude. As an added bonus, Cary makes it funny almost every time and does so with tremendous sensitivity.

I try to imagine who the posters and respondents are for real sometimes; what they look like, what their lifestyle is and where they are living. Mostly, I alternate between laughter and incredulity during my reading time here. There are things that stick with you, some of the good things... so those names are the ones to look for again. There are jerks who come here for who knows what reason other than a lame attempt to kick someone when they are down. That's where the world wide web is kind of a bummer.

LW, we do what we do... not for a certain response, but because we cannot help it.

I hope Cary never stops. I look forward to seeing his cartoon face here every day. And you dear LW, I hope you never stop either. Someone heard you. I hear you. Rock on Cary! Thanks. Now I get to go read your response. Lucky me.

Let an editor worry about these details. Your job is simply to write. Go for it!