My Father-in-law is the one who attacks over religious differences while my MIL sits with a forced smile on her face and my sister in law gloats. It's so much fun to be judged and ridiculed even when your opinion is solicited, isn't it?

Maybe what we tend to do will work for you too. Avoid all topics political, social or religious. It is mind-numbingly dull and sometimes I want to claw my way out of the room. It does, however, prevent my father in law from losing his mind when I declare something so outrageous as this: Birth control is necessary in our modern world and not something a religious organization should tell people not to use.

Why does he go crazy over things like this when he doesn't even go to church? Who knows! Same with your MIL and her critical stance against your religion. How limiting to only be able to see the world through one lens!

Here's the main point though: Your relationship with your husband is what matters most. So, he needs to be the primary communication and conduit. Let him deal with MIL while you play nice. You are busy now building a life and that will take all your energy. Your letter showed maturity and thoughtfulness. Of course you want her approval, but she has already proven she is stubborn and single minded.

You sound like you are doing fine! Smile through their judgement and ignorance of your personal choices. Remember to make sure that your husband is clear that this is his situation to manage, not yours.

A few posts state that love and understanding is the only way. While this is true with most things, it is a gross simplification of discussions of this sort with in-laws. The only post that really makes sense here is the one about getting up and stretching or removing yourself if things get too heated. Family can be like quicksand so advocating a deeper religious discussion is absolutely wrong wrong wrong!

You've obviously never met my in-laws.

One poster even gave LW a finger wagging saying she "should go to hell for a nanosecond" and learn respect for her elders. Huh? Who is the editor here? A red star for shaming this LW who wrote a thoughtful letter about her frustrations with MIL?

Dear Salon editor,

Seriously?

"Not everyone is going to love and understand us as completely as we might want. I think we'd all be a lot happier if we found some peace in that truth."

YES! You nailed it. Smart cookie, that Anne!

"On the other hand, she knows that you, with your superior liberal arts education, look down your nose at her and her "Bible-based" beliefs, and this enrages her. Maybe you should go to hell, after all, if only for a nanosecond, just to teach you some respect for your elders."

WTF?

You chasten the LW and give her a little spanking over her divisive MIL. "Superior liberal arts education?" You say she should spend time in hell? Now that's kind and gentle!

LW,

I am in the same boat with you and can assure you that this post is way off base. Don't discuss this topic with your MIL and keep communication with your husband clear. It's that simple.

Sacrament and state of marriage are two different things.

It remains a mystery why it's so easy for people to become confused about gay marriage. Prop 8 removes civil rights from loving couples. That doesn't seem very Christian (or Mormon) to me.

What good would come from getting involved in a mess that doesn't belong to you? I don't know about you but I am quite busy cleaning up my own messes.

"If they don't park their head on the pillow next to yours, you don't get an opinion on who, how, what, when, where, frequency or freakiness. Other people's sex lives are not your business."

Exactly.

Is there anyone who is creative who is not restless?

Everyone took a hit. It isn't your personal error LW because this has very little to do with your financial decisions. Markets all over the world show volatility. Most likely, your husband is informed and in touch enough to know this.

I can think of a dozen people who lost approximately 3/4 of their investments. Two on the brink of retirement who watched their (vested) stocks go poof.

Only people who are not aware or educated in business and finance would tell you that you screwed up. EVERY market has been affected. Blame and finger pointing going on here won't help when we are all in the same boat. It wasn't your advisor, it's much bigger than that.

So, LW, you are off the hook and don't listen to the crazies.

Go and have a good time! Most people won't be in interview mode, not like you are worrying about. They'll be reliving glory days, dancing, eating, drinking. Go and laugh! The mean girls may be a little subdued, the jerk guys may be humbled, and you may reconnect with some interesting people. You may find some pleasant surprises.

I did.

Does it really matter what religion that guy claims as his own? That's just creepy.

The person who he is visiting is responsible to anticipate the intercom issue.

Not all jews are good, not all jews are bad. Not all atheists are good, not all atheists are bad. Let all this go. This is an issue of building security and annoying behavior.

Imagine what Larry David would do on an episode of Curb Your Enthusiasm with this one.

"Don't. No. He's a baaad man."

?

Geesh. You aren't married, you are young, and who you have sex with is your business.

Your bro sounds like he's got some deeper issues. Yes, you made a poor choice and no, your brother doesn't get to act so judgmental. Don't play this dramatic role! Instead just tell him sorry like you mean it and move along.

I enjoy your posts.