It makes a difference in thus discussion that domestic animals are killed in these ways. Forever, they have been bred to befriend and develop comfortable relationships with humans. They do suffer horrific pain in many cases before actually dying and anyone who could do that, for a "special meal" or any other cultural habit is missing a compassion gene or two. Skinning a live animal struggling while hanging from it's haunches to save time, or because it's cheapest? I really do hope they come back in the next life as a mink in a cage or maybe as a pit bull in a basement.

On a related topic, I noticed that "shark fin soup" is still sold in some restaurants. To cut off the fin and let the shark die like that always seemed cruel and unusual. I thought Clinton had passed a bill, but there it was on the menu. There are so many things people do that are barbaric and unnecessary in our "advanced" society and probably not enough people who feel affected by any of it.

I don't own a pool, have no access to a pool, and have dozens of neighbors and friends with a pool. On the very hottest, most sweltering days of the year, if I catch a glimpse of the unused crystal cool blue hue of my single neighbor's unused mammoth in ground pool, I do salivate, or perspire. She doesn't appear to be using it, oh can I just dip my toes in, or... no.

You are dealing with the socially imperceptive in your family and they are everywhere. Subtle is not something they can decipher... too deep in the code for them. So, you need to be direct. If some member of your family perceives it as a slight, how is that your problem?

Good luck with the imperceptive ones. I envy you, sort of.

I've never seen it, but you had me at soft porn. As long as they don't have the bow chica chica bow music playing, it could be fun. And that JRM looks like a scoundrel, ready for torturous desire and unrest.

I hope you can let it go. It isn't your battle and although it was an odd thing to do, they are just plants. Maybe the lady next door doesn't need a hero to rescue her or maybe you dislike the obnoxious gardener. I'd be psyched if someone would have planted in my yard, so I didn't have to do it... but that's just me.

Sleep well. Have a glass of wine. Breathe. Give your neighbor a hug and practice your own less invasive acts of kindness. Don't freak about plants.

"Ate a cookie. Checked my mail. Started, stopped, you get the idea."

Yes, and I would have eaten that whole box of cookies before finding 99 other ways of avoiding this one. Speechless comes close to what I have to say.

One more possibility about "short" letter:

In divorce proceedings, a published humiliation like that would not bode well for LW. She was wise to ask that it be removed. Or maybe her squat man is one of the thousands of readers here on Salon and she didn't want to hurt him.

About these plants and neighbors. Don't bring drama to this situation! Be direct and thoughtful by asking the elderly neighbor if you can help with the plants then be done with this. Also I want to repeat that since you do care, practice your own acts of kindness with elderly neighbor and others. That is how you can be of service.

Great pc in the NYer and I enjoyed how you framed it here. Fun when two faves crossover like that. The quote about the best novels boasting more truth could not be more.....

true.

But that Benjamin Skinner is one baaaad mofo.

This sensitive reader will try not to become too enraged or furious when reading your book. I will try not to pay attention to the stream of revenge fantasies involving the animals you investigated. The feeling of powerlessness re this evil is overwhelming. Let me at them! Vial of poison, slow painful death...give me a few minutes alone with pimp man...take him out back for a little walk... or just lock em down with the worst of the worst...

Geesh. I haven't even read the book yet.

I found it disgusting when overhearing some guys talking about getting a special "massage" at a seedy place downtown filled with painfully young foreigners who can't be enjoying their "work" very much. This information makes that look tame.

Thank you for risking life and limb to tell the truth. I'll contain myself now.

It makes you feel kinda funny doesn't it, to be entrusted with delicate info belonging to mutual acquaintances?

Reading your letter, it seems you don't need to change anything because you are doing great! The only thing that sends a red flag is the secret attraction to the guy you work with. What exists in our minds is the most powerful of all.

Yep C.T., Frampton's tune began playing the moment I heard that phrase.

So good.

Oh, there's a game on right now. What am I doing online!

Just want to say that I loved Allie's letter. Right on!