Letters to the Editor

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edziu's muse

Published Letters: 514     Editor's Choice: 21

  • Hit stop

    [Read the article: I'm having a European family feud]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    Dear LW,

    Traveling with kids can be torturous. Staying for 3 weeks sounds unbearable, even in the best circumstances. You didn't do anything wrong, but now you know that your time was too long in one place and that your family has different 'standards'.

    That sounds like the trip from hell and I have been there, many times. The worst arguments I've had with family were under jet-lagged and cramped conditions in which expectation clashed with communication. It takes years to undo a few angry words in some families.

    We cannot expect others to perceive experience similarly or that they will communicate in the same manner we choose. That is a fast track to considerable suffering! You can continue to act with integrity and kindness and you can take responsibility for anything that you have control over.

    The gravity of family may be stronger than we know, but we can choose not to play the same tape and not be part of the same story.

  • Soldier John,

    [Read the article: Shouldn't my dad be told that he has Alzheimer's?]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    My Grandmother had this awful disease and she fell into a state of frustration and unfortunately, cruelty. You wrote that he has "no small amount of vitriol for those around him, including anger at what he didn't understand and couldn't control."

    I wonder if he can process that kind of information because this means that he is already deep into it. Maybe the question shouldn't be how to tell him, but how to prepare yourself (and everyone in your family), because it only gets worse.

    You can always call his doctor to ask what the usual protocol is and how they advise patients like your Father. What you wrote about him was full of respect and love, even though he was "away" for much of your childhood. It must be awful to see him in this state. Brace yourself for what is ahead though because you are going to have to be a different kind of soldier when you are with your Father. I wish you the best and thank you for serving our country.

  • interesting posts

    [Read the article: Shouldn't my dad be told that he has Alzheimer's?]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    ololon, thank you for this quote:

    ""The belief that there is only one truth, and that oneself is in possession of it, is the root of all evil in the world" -- Max Born"

    Juliebird, Hyperion is a good read and now that you mention, as a metaphor for this disease it's really good.

    GoodCelery, I must've missed something, uh...

    but it is still pretty funny!

  • Good for daughter, not so much for a new mother

    [Read the article: My ex wants our 14-year-old daughter to witness his new wife's childbirth]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    I don't think there is anything wrong with the daughter being there, but the last thing you want while giving birth are extra bodies around. Unless it is someone helping you out or your partner, people in the room with you can be distracting and possibly upsetting.

  • Just be helpful

    [Read the article: A friend is doing chemo. What should I say?]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    Offer your time, energies and whatever else you have to give. She is in a fight for her life and if she needs help it would probably be great to know there is someone who can be there, however brief. Nothing is too small to offer when you are in her situation.

    Then allow the other person to respond as they will. You are thinking too much.

  • Oh Man...

    [Read the article: My boyfriend's a secret crackhead!]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    Crack?

    Really?

    A sock in the face or a major wake up call will come for him, but what about you? I didn't notice anything in the letter about this relatively new partner being your big love. Are you in love with him? Now that you know this little detail, do you really love him or do you just want to fix him? No way it's just once a week. That is just another part of this that is unbelievable.

    I've always failed, miserably, at attempts to mend the wounded partners. I got dragged under every time and it may have been love, but the downward spiral was imminent. You may feel terrible about doing it, but as soon as he is in good hands, support him while calmly moving aside. It sounds like survival will be the name of his game, for a long time.

    Relationships are challenging enough without a monkey on someone's back. This is a mean one LW, so good luck.

  • Yummy words

    [Read the article: My boyfriend's a secret crackhead!]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    "the luminous green fizz of a gin and tonic with lime; the metaphysics of pool balls cracking in a slant-light afternoon in a back room off the water somewhere south of Portland where you know you won't be found for days; the longed-for attenuation of an annoying hum; the erotic dream of a hungry and willing partner who promises both surrender and control."-C.T.

    And now I too feel like a crackhead.

    -Mesmerized e.m.

  • high school Harrys

    [Read the article: My boyfriend danced dirty to make me jealous ]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    "Let's make your girlfriend jealous"

    That is so silly. And stupid. And immature.

    His response to this was bizarre. It sounds as if you just need one thing: A grown man.

    Good luck LW! Hang in there, they do exist.

  • Afro goddess

    [Read the article: My boyfriend danced dirty to make me jealous ]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    rocks. She just does.

    Well done.

    While the rest of us are busy deconstructing a silly relationship, you just tell it like it is.

    (The line about rolling with the homies has me rolling too!)

  • Dear LW,

    [Read the article: Should I get my breasts enlarged?]
    [Read more letters about this article: Here]

    I know a few women who have these things attached to their bodies. From my perspective, it's unattractive and a health risk that isn't worth the supposed benefits. That's not your perspective though, and you are not trying to attract me or anyone like me. What's clear is that you believe they will provide some sort of alchemy. The changes you seek only come from the inside though, Cary is right.

    If it matters, count me one vote no for your chest to be cut open and implanted with the fake stuff.