Letters to the Editor
edziu's muse
Published Letters: 514 Editor's Choice: 21
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Yes, but don't be too hard on yourself
[Read the article: Do I have a drinking problem?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Dear LW,
You have so much going right and you do know the answer. What is interesting is that despite incredible odds (abuse, PTSS, anxiety disorder(s), etc.), you have reinvented yourself. A PhD, in England at 32? Wow. And you say you feel somewhat isolated, or that you miss those who know you best. If you didn't say that, it would be very strange. Think about all that you are doing right first and acknowledge that you are motivated and that you are strong.
Now about this alcohol. I too have a crush on wine. Some very bad things have happened when there is too much. Judging by the letters in response to yours, I am surrounded by alcoholics, have been one and perhaps am in danger of this again. Yet, I am not cut off from everyone I love, in another country, without support. I do hear your motivation and drive in your letter and it does sound like you can beat this.
You sound busy and lonely, so, some ideas: Surround yourself with people who are consistent, those who get you and can really listen. Be militant about your workouts, start a grueling training regimin or run, every day. Trust me, you won't be able to stay up long enough to drink like that if you are working your arse off in the AM. Invoke this health and make it your new lifestyle and your new mantra. We are what we continually do. Every time you want to slip, think of everyone who has ever loved you and everyone who has ever hurt you. Everyone has something that can turn that dial for them and you will find it, if you haven't already taken your power back.
Hang in there! You are only human and this is a serious challenge, but you already know what you have to do. The past can't hurt you anymore.
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You got me,
[Read the article: Stop lying to yourself. You love Dennis Kucinich]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I dig him. Lots of people can relate to what he says. However, we can't vote for him because we want so badly to see the Republicans out. It doesn't seem votes matter though, given the outcome of the last two elections.
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gg with 4 5's
[Read the article: Stop lying to yourself. You love Dennis Kucinich]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Your letter makes a lot of sense. And I agree. I'll also retract my last comment about votes not mattering.
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It seems...
[Read the article: I feel your pain]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]that there are many many people missing mirror neurons, if they do cause people to be altruistic and compassionate.
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Bullies
[Read the article: After years of being meek, I'm suddenly screaming at people!]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Without time to see the other letters in reply, LW, this part of your letter says it all:
"The clerk looked on and did nothing. The man got his way, checking out his too-many items and taking a parting shot at the father with his small son as he finished. I wound up screaming at the guy as he left -- and it wasn't even my fight!"
It was your fight because, like your Mother, the clerk did nothing and allowed this guy to humiliate someone, and it involved children. This example you included is the kind of scenario that will keep playing out for a lifetime. Unless of course, you can find a way to help yourself out of the torture your familial past causes you every day. I have no answers, but know that EMDR can clear some of this. (Beware, before you heal and during the process, the emotions evoked will be fierce). You may need to get more out of control before you get to a place where you can be less reactive.
Your letter made me angry. Nobody likes bullies.
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olaighaire said:
[Read the article: I peed at my desk in third grade and now I'm afraid to sing]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"You're looking at your insides and comparing them to other people's outsides."
Oh that is so good!
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Sing it loud
[Read the article: I peed at my desk in third grade and now I'm afraid to sing]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I read the letter to Cary and had an answer that was decisive and critical. It was a group of words that seemed helpful and important. Then I read Cary's response and d***, it blew me away from this desk where I bang on keys to communicate something to people I don't know. I was momentarily back to the dank preschool then the chalky smell of elementary school. All those feelings and sensations came rushing back, including memories of humiliation and discouragement. Overwhelmed and inspired at once? At first I was somewhat annoyed with the response, because it moved me so far away from where I'd decided to begin, now I realize it was such a gift. I am going to write all these memories out.
Yes, bring your gift LW. Bring it! See what gifts can do?
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He's Karl Roving you
[Read the article: My boss wants me to apologize to his wife]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]First, what does emotional affair mean? Perhaps I have an "emotional" affair with the nubile and talented Christian Bale. (OK, so he isn't part of it, and we haven't met and of course we are both married. Maybe it's just in my head, hmm. But I think about him. And the way he smiles and those teeth and ...)
oh
So LW,
If you didn't screw this person, you didn't have an affair. Get a grip and stay out of all contact with this manipulative, self-aggrandizing man! He was a mess and cried when you left your job? Your boss was acting like this at work? Anyway, what would you say to her?
"Gee, Debbie, I was hanging out with your husband and like, we were drinking and talking about you all the time and... well, you know, he was avoiding you with me and I just wanted to talk too and I am sorry!" D*** right you should be angry! This guy is a freak!
If your ex-boss is hounding you to apologize to the other half of his mess of a marriage, well, that's just way of spinning his own boundary issues. It's so outrageous, it's actually comedy! If his current job gets dull he can go work for Dubbya.