Letters to the Editor
edziu's muse
Published Letters: 520 Editor's Choice: 21
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This is so interesting!
[Read the article: My vegan friend insists I justify myself]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]I've not yet read the reply posts, so please forgive me if this redundant:
As humans on Earth, we cause pain and suffering. To each other, to other forms of life, to the land and sea and sky... all of it. WE are damaging, we do not tread lightly. There are things we do for sustenance that are difficult to explain, but often necessary. If someone doesn't understand this, I think of them as idealists or dreamers. These people I deal with a little more gently. It sounds as if the LW's friend is an idealist. She probably has deep connections with all forms of life and cannot control her passion.
It's hard to be representing something the idealist holds as reproachable so hang in there. People with this kind of passion can be difficult and even uptight, but maybe it will be fun and worth it in the end. A real friend is always worth it.
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catharsis anyone?
[Read the article: My husband read my journal]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Someone wrote that "a journal is a process, not a condemnation". Writing for catharsis is just that, a release. Don't we all need a bit 'o release? She was just using this tool to get it out, or maybe for clarification. It doesn't seem she wanted him to find it or any of the other accusations.
Such incredible judgment here from... strangers (especially other women). Why so mean? Yes, she could concentrate only on the husband's grief and his family's suffering. This did come up though, and she's just asking for some advice.
LW: Write on, keep whatever is flowing going, fiction or non-fiction. Why'd you stop writing? Is that your only journal? Let your freak flag fly! If he MARRIED you he must know you have a freak side. C'mon! If you decide to use it to process feelings, just know it can be misunderstood and it can hurt someone. Why else would so many books published posthumously?
Some of these posts are so funny. Gwool, YOU are hysterical btw. I'd love to see the plates hurling in your pad!
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moving right along
[Read the article: Should I tell my daughter about her mother's two abortions?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Cary is right on here. This isn't your domain LW, move on to teaching her a different lesson, giving other info that will teach or bring you closer, or whatever it is you are trying to do! Sex ed this is not.
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River of Paradox...
[Read the article: Should I stay in my marriage?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]"We live in a vast river of paradox." Have to agree with Cary on this.
Marriage doesn't make sense. Living and sharing the things that you do, also raising children and having overwhelming responsibilities. Isn't it crazy, ONE person for your entire life and so much of your time just with THEM? We are insane! That's where some of the good stuff is too though, and that may be enough. When you are in the darkest place you may find some incredible gem, you never know.
Since we don't know your circumstances there is no way to weigh in or provide any ideas. Aren't we all just muddling along? We love someone, we love our families and friends. This is the best we can do and sometimes, we can't.
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am i missing something here?
[Read the article: My husband has Chinese ancestry but his son wants to keep it secret]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]uh,
regarding the race and history of a bloodline....
who cares?!
LW, let it go. Not your biz anyway.
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Ah... to be 18 again!
[Read the article: I'm 18 and afraid it's time to break up with my first boyfriend]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Dear LW,
No matter what, time is on your side. Follow your instincts. Be kind to him when you break it off, you know, do it with integrity. If you do have to talk to others about it make sure it stays private. I have been involved with some relationships that got out of control and the drama is not worth it.
I am not sure why you wrote Cary though. It sounds as if you already know the answer. You are amazing in your self awareness! Seriously, I don't think I would have known what Salon was! To have the language for complex feelings and communicate the way you do is a gift.
This is your time to experiment and explore. Have fun! Then, have some more fun!
Man, I envy you!
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Simple
[Read the article: My sister is having an illicit affair]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]Don't ask, don't talk to the others, just tell your sister your feelings.
Who knows what the situation really is, we only get to hear one side. It would complicate things to intervene.
Tell her soon and know you were authentic and true with her, that is all you can do.
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Pushy friends
[Read the article: Should I invite my difficult friends to the in-laws' lake house?]
[Read more letters about this article: Here]LW,
It really doesn't sound like you enjoy her company. No discussion about the husband or inlaws or a lake house is necessary. This isn't about autism. You just don't love this woman as a friend. When I spend time, precious time, with a friend, he or she is at least fun and interesting. You didn't say you had FUN with your friend. You didn't say you had a deep connection or even a party connection. So why are you friends again?
Check your friend database, time to do some housecleaning. NOTHING to do with anyone but you and her. Leave the rest of the discussion out of it and either allow time and distance to work it out or be direct and say no to anything. Last time I was, uh, direct, it came out caustic and some feelings were stepped on. I didn't want this "friend" in my life anymore because she caused more stress and pain than anything else, but in hindsight, I could have been gentler and slower in the process.
So get your cleaning supplies ready LW. You know what to do.