First, I apologize for puking my issue with Prop 8 on you man. You didn't push that on the ballot...did you? As I mentioned earlier, I am furious about that prop and it's attempts to take rights away from people I love very much.

So there's that. And you are gay, so you must understand this sentiment.

What is more important in your situation is the last few things Cary wrote:

"Seek community! Tell your story! Open your heart!"

You can do this and it will expedite healing and get you rolling on your new path. Go for it LW! Get out there and do this! My family is involved in a few organizations as a volunteer and they have enriched our lives as we offer some small amount of help for others. What's better than that?

Again, sorry for my outburst and all the best to you.

Apologies up front, but I read your letter and wanted to be mad about religious hypocrisy. Spending most of your life pretending for other people unless you are paid as an actor does not sound like fun. Also I am mad about the Mormon backed Prop 8... but that is another story.

LW, I just had to get that out first, but I digress.

You answered your own question, no? You want out, so get out by working with your partner and dealing with finances right away. You've been friends for a long time and raised children together, so you should be able to reach a mutual agreement on parting.

I wish you well on your journey and know that you should feel good about finally being honest. Act fast, life is short!

If you are spending this much energy criticizing her, this relationship is not a friendship, it's just a giant pain in the ass.

I had a friend who became a roommate post college. After we lived together for a year, I realized how completely oblivious she was to anyone else. Her princess world only had enough room for her (and her wardrobe). I remember her marching up to the front of a ticket line cutting in, while I stood sheepishly at the rear. After sashaying into the theater she seemed miffed it took me so long to catch up. She became someone who was more irritating than interesting or fun.

Fast forward 10 plus years later when the weight of our relationship was becoming unhealthy for both of us. I felt awful for judging and criticizing her, if only in my mind. There was a lot of wasted energy and I am relieved she is no longer in my life. It won't be an easy choice LW, but plan your escape. You can be straightforward and honest, or you can just fade away, which may be kinder.

In hindsight, I am certain we didn't really like each other as much as we believed anyway. It became just like you described and we weren't even communicating. She was rude, I was stewing, and it was pretty clear that's how it was going to be. Why force it?

Leaving the friendship doesn't have to get nasty or hurtful, just back away slowly. Life is busy, so that should be easy to do. You will be making room for new friendships when you lose the weight of this relationship.

I'd let that idea go if I were you.

...Terry Gilliam's movie, BRAZIL?

"Many claim to be Christian but few actually are."

Hallelujah on that thought!

Thank you Cary for sharing your gift.

"...the knowledge that such unsustainable evil cannot endure. Greed, division, and hypocrisy have had their moment in the sun, and they will have others. But the pendulum is swinging back."

I hope you are correct! There is light streaming in through the cracks and into these days and nights. For instance, tonight we are graced with a bright full moon.

P.S. I saw that message on the overpass too.

...have drawn that hate running a nasty campaign, evident in the campaign advisors suggestions. Don't make eye contact with Obama? Call him 'That One'?

This has nothing to do with Lamott.

"Pallin' around with terrorists" as another example. Inferring that Obama is a dark and scary man in their ads and speeches. Oh, til McCain finally discredited some hillbilly calling Obama an "Arab" and another saying he is a terrorist.

Gee, where'd they get that idea?

So don't pin hate mongering on Ms. Lamott, who is entertaining and always interesting. Most importantly, she's honest.

Carrie,

You don't have to apologize for writing something that had a simple point. It's all good. Don't let the various energies respondents unleash in here make you think something you wrote was not appreciated. Just ask Cary about how nasty some people get when they think they are anonymous.

We need more writers, less critics!

All the extreme judgement here is telling. Imagine some of these people real time, in the world. That is scary or comforting, depending on the post. Certain tags I refuse to read because they are filled with disproportionate venom. That venom gets turned inward sooner or later.

Keep trying to make the best of uncertain times and screw the army of begrudgers.

-em

It's no secret some people never get past it, but do they have to pretend they can lead a country?

There is a famous pc. which was written from an idealist's perspective, as one who wants to change the world and make everything better. After whittling down lofty ambitions, he comes to the conclusion that he must start with himself, at home. I think Cary's last lines sum that up rather nicely:

"I’m going to try to get a good night’s sleep, be kind to my neighbors, not start any wars, not play with matches and make sure the dogs are fed."

I don't use spellceherker.