I think your first paragraph with these q's might be the best (no matter what context) I've seen in a long time.

"Men and women are different. Thank god we're all old enough to know that now. Thank god we no longer waste our time asking each other impossible questions, like "Why can't we communicate soulfully, like Gwyneth Paltrow probably does with Chris Martin? Why can't you smell that smell that I'm smelling? Where are your pants? What's that on your face? Are you insane or just very stupid? Should I have another margarita?""

Thank you for giving me laughs into Monday.

xxh

About 15 years ago, Dear LW, I was faced with situation eerily similar. I've since lived in NYC, LA, SF and East Bay. I almost married a cop in that tiny town where I come from, while attempting to work as a creative in a dying industry. He begged me not to leave when I got my ticket to go West.

When I return now for a visit I find an alternate universe where time does stop and people forget to check media to see what's happening and how to dress, and hell, they even forget their dental appointments. Not all small towns are the same and some people dig the familiarity and closeness of the hood there.

Truth is the guy I would have ended up with is still there plus 30 lbs, (minus some weight in gray matter), unemployed, and spends a good amount of time complaining about liberals ruining our country. Actually he blames everyone for a life wasted at 40. He lost his house, procreated and got into some trouble with a local woman ...and that would have been me. I meant nothing to him after all and we wouldn't even be together had I stayed.

Get the picture?

It's not a picture you fit into. I knew it then and you know it now. With a letter like the one you wrote, you already know what to do. P.S. I met the love of my life in a big city and guess what, he came from a town just like ours. You never know, but if you don't find a way out, you never will.

OK LW, You are wasting time, money and energy on this philosophy of coolness.

Think about how big the world is and how what's hip in one country or area isn't in another. Think about how short your time here is and that you spend it focused on how you appear to others. What a waste!

I used to live in Williamsburg and know this energy you speak of which comes from FEAR and INSECURITY.

Go find some stars to hang with, you'd fit into that scene. I can give you some numbers if you like.

I hope we never cross paths, you'd be a reminder of the people who were arrogant and mean back in high school because they perceived their hair/clothing/shoes/tastes to be better than the next person's.

xx

Don't confuse your stuff with yourself.

Also, you seem to have some issues to think about before collecting some metal dude. This letter sounds so conflicted! Why do you, right now, need a gun again?

Still not clear on that.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070416/ap_on_re_us/virginia_tech_shooting

"Goin back to New York City I do believe I've had enough...." I can hear the Beastie Boys sampling Dylan here.

What struck me most about your letter and many of these posts is that New Yorkers are often marked by the polarity of their views and opinions. (Isn't SD NYC's antithesis?) For you, isn't there a gray area, like a change of job or social scene?

I liked how Cary is advising you to get to the root of all these feelings but I am not so sure about you moving. It doesn't have to be so extreme, especially because you are young and have no one to worry about other than yourself. I am from NY originally but I suppose after reading all these posts I'd have to call myself a Californian.

It's good to be so free and have all these choices LW, just explore and enjoy it!

everyone felt like this. A sense there is always something more. Like that Agnes DeMille quote about how the artist is never satisfied. If we were all set, complacent even, wouldn't this be dull?

C'mon people. Reading banter between some of these respondents is like watching Jerry Springer!

The guy has no class b/c he had the audacity to send a bill to a guy with possible head trauma. THAT is a jerk move, no matter what his circumstance may be.

Also, he didn't apologize. Geesh, all it would have taken was a heartfelt,

"I'm sorry."

Wasn't that easy?

I feel less alone when I read your replies to a "creative type". You have a way of bringing a perspective and language for the complex and unsettling feelings artists have. The posts by readers are thought provoking and again I am reminded of why I keep coming to Salon every day.

Feeling grateful about this, that's all.